Castle's Top Secret Christmas: Mission Esplanie
by AlwaysCastle
Summary: What Happens when Castle tries to get everyone in the Christmas spirit? All the while planning a secret mission to get Lanie and Esposito back together with the help of Kate Beckett? Final Chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

**Castle's Top Secret Christmas: Mission Esplanie **

**Chapter One**

As the very last leaf in New York City releases its hold on it's beloved tree, fluttering downwards towards to end of it's beautiful life; two people, with a hold much stronger, walk the busy sidewalk together. The man, adorned in a black overcoat and blue scarf, talks animatedly about something, while the woman strides along side him, as close as she possibly can without actually touching him. Dressed in a white pea coat, the woman tightens her green scarf around her neck, dropping her hand to the side wanting to just take hold of the hand buried in his pocket. Instead, she settles for brushing her arm against his, and looking up at his profile while he speaks.

He talks of their last case. Not being able to get over the tiger that nearly ate them. But she's thinking about how much closer they have become. Surely he's thinking the same things, he hints every now and then, gives her a wink or smiles at her knowingly when her mind drifts. He catches her more times than not, but she doesn't mind at all. Lately she's been all about informing him in her own ways.. And she loves his reactions to things that he thinks she's joking about..little does he know, those are promises.

A shiver runs the length of her body at the thought of waking up next to him, and then a swift breeze sweeps the sidewalk, catching the remaining leaves in a mild hurricane, and tosses her hair across her face. She pulls her long chestnut hair from her eyes, and shrugs her shoulders up to her ears shivering for a whole new reason.

"Cold, Kate?" The man asks, turning towards her slightly as they continue to walk. She nods her head, shoulders still shrugged and then drops them, breathing out a puff of white air as if to make a point.

"A bit." She says, not wanting to admit that she _is_ quite cold, not used to these sudden cold temperatures, what with the whole beginning of December going no lower than 50 degrees. The weather is deceiving them all.

He smiles down at her, a little concern in his sparkling blue eyes, and offers his arm to her without removing his hands from his pockets. She stares down at the offered warmth with a slight hesitation before blushing and hooking her arm with his. She's immediately filled with something a lot like love. It radiates though her body, perhaps from the vibration she swears his own body is now giving off as it's pressed against hers.

Another breeze assaults them, biting at her cheeks, and nipping at her nose. She burrows deeper into his side, and he hums in satisfaction. "I smell snow." She comments in her deep voice, breathing in the smell of the air.

He looks down at her in disbelief. "You can't s_mell_ snow." He argues, half serious, mostly intrigued at such a comment from a woman like Kate Beckett.

"I _can_, Castle." She deadpans, squeezing his arm. And then biting down on her lip, almost embarrassed at such a ridiculous gift.

He squeezes back, neither breaking their rhythm as they walk or looking away from her face, which is downcast. "How can you smell snow?" He then asks marveling at the way her long lashes accent her cheekbones from this angle.

"I don't know." She says with a shrug, shifting her head to rest on his shoulder. "I just can." She concludes, looking up at him for just a moment, but she gets lost in those eyes that stare back with so much wonder, it makes her heart both ache, and warm at the same time.

He chuckles, his blue eyes boring into her green ones, that have a hint of brown. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have e_ver_ heard you say." He teases.

Kate smiles wide, her eyes shining almost mischievously for an instant. She looks down at her hand that grips his forearm. His comes out of his pocket and squeezes hers.

"In fact..." He says after a short silence. "You _never_ say anything ridiculous...so it must be true!"

She lets out a small laugh. "My mom could smell snow before it fell." She says softly. "She would come home from a night at work...and tell me it's going to snow. And sometimes it would snow that night, or the very next day..but it _always_ snowed within a few days of her catching it's scent." Kate finishes her story as they come to a halt outside her apartment building.

Kate reluctantly loosens her hold on Castle, where they now stand in front of each other. She can't believe how easily they fell into such a thing. Cozying up to each other without a second thought. She smiles to herself. Looks like being cuffed together did the trick.

"Well." He says, putting one hand back in his pocket and hopping onto the balls of his feet for a second. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see if your right." He pokes her lightly on the nose and grins.

"Until tomorrow." She finally says after losing her breath for a moment. She turns and walks up the steps turning around.

"Until tomorrow Kate."

* * *

><p>Castle sits in his office later that night, typing away at his laptop. Deep in thought. His eyes scan the screen as he types rather quickly, as if afraid to lose his current thought with just a slight pause... He's already having difficulty. Kate keeps appearing before him...but then he sees it, from his place on the sofa, he catches a glimpse of something floating by his window. He does a double take, and then jumps up placing his laptop on the cushions and rushing to the window. His face cracks into a wide grin.<p>

* * *

><p>Across town Kate walks out of the bathroom, towel snug around her body as she dries her hair with another, her skin chilling from the significantly cooler temperatures in her room. She hums quietly to herself, one of her favorite Christmas tunes when her phone buzzes from her nightstand. She shuffles passed her window, blocked by a curtain, and picks up her phone. A text from Castle. She can't help the flutter that enters her chest, spreading throughout the rest of her body in a wave of tingles.<p>

_You have a great sense of snow. Get it?_

It reads. She laughs shaking her head and biting down on her lip as her eyes drift upwards in love, and then turns to the window pulling back the curtain. Sure enough, she's met with a winter wonderland.

* * *

><p>"I was thinking." Castle says the next morning, taking a seat and handing Kate a cup of hot coffee.<p>

She looks down at him as she brushes the snow from her hair and coat before putting it on the back of her chair and sitting down. "Hmm?" She asks, eyebrows raised, humming into the lid of her cup.

"With all we have been through this year..." He shudders, his mind drifting to everything at once like a movie montage.. "I think we could all use a bit of togetherness."

"Oh?" She asks lowering her cup slightly. "What do you have in mind?" She tilts her head to one side, licking the coffee from her lips.

He watches her do this and then swallows, bringing his eyes back up to meet hers. "I thought we'd make a night of it!" He exclaims, pulling out his phone and pulling up a list.

"Don't you already hold your annual Christmas party soon anyway?" She points out.

"Yeaah..but I thought we'd all do something together first. You, me, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny and Lanie." He slides his finger over his phone and then he types something out on it. "I thought we could go caroling, an-"

"Lanie wont be up for that, and Espo and her are not getting along right now remember." Kate says with a nod towards Esposito who's just come out of the break room and starts talking to Ryan.

"Well make her up for it, and I'll talk to Esposito, there will be no Grinch's this Christmas!" He declares with a raise of one finger before tapping the screen. "Here is what I am thinking..." He scoots his chair closer to her so she can see.

She leans in closer, her breath catching in her throat at how close he is, she can smell him...he smells wonderful...like coffee, and paper...and something purely Castle she rather not ruin by defining it.

"I want those two to get back together...don't you?" He turns his head towards her, now he's just two inches away.

Her eyes grow wide. "yes..yes of course." She breathes staring at his lips. She can't help it

"Good, here's the plan. We have them sing a duet together while we're caroling...I have a whole list of songs we can sing, and my mother and Alexis will be there so it wont be awkward, you know like couples." Kate nods distracted by his mouth but he doesn't notice. " And then we pair off at the ice skating rink...and-"

"Castle..." She says softly.

"It will work, trust me."

* * *

><p><strong> My First attempt at a Christmas fanfic. I have some devious plans, and I am pretty excited to see how they pan out, hope you are too! Please review, they are like love to me :D(Just a warning, no reviews, means no new chapter right away)<br>**

**P.S. Those of you who are reading _The Head and the Heart_, I am still writing it no worries. Slowly working on the next chapter. Should be up before the end of the week hopefully.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

"Nah uh." Lanie says, shaking her head and crossing her arms.. "No." She fixes Kate with a look that is clearly a challenge. Daring to to even try and change her mind.

Kate sighs, leaning against the empty exam table and running her hand through her hair, slick with snow. It's coming down hard out there. She stares across at the ME. Fixing her with her own look of stubbornness. "Come on, Lanie...Your doing this."

"What makes you think so?" The ME says, standing her ground, the wrinkles in her blue scrubs bunched up tightly by her arms, indicating she's dead serious.

"Because, for one thing, you boss _me_ around all the time..and two...Castle has put a _lot_ of thought into this, and I agree with him, we needs this. Lanie...we **all **_need_ this." Kate says the last part in a low tone, pleading now. She really doesn't think Lanie can argue about this much longer. For everything that has happened this year, togetherness is what they all really need right now. And what says "Togetherness" more than a little Christmas celebration?

Lanie uncrosses her arms and sighs, face growing softer. "Fine...but I won't like it." Lanie points at Kate with a raised eyebrow.

Kate smiles and turns to leave. "Yes you will!" She yells back as she leaves the morgue.

She steps out of the elevator looking about the slightly decorated bull pen. It's bustling with life, the holiday's bringing in all sorts of crime and mischief. Pretty hectic for all departments really, and she's not looking forward to the astronomical amounts of paper work she is soon to get. Not to mention how cold it's gotten, making crime scenes even more uncomfortable.

All worried thoughts flee her tired brain when she spots Castle, though. He's sitting on the edge of Ryan's desk, deep in conversation with her two fellow detectives. Kate feels a flutter in her chest at the sight of him and a huge smile on spreads across her face. She dials it down and gives Castle a thumbs up before heading into the break room. She stands by the window, looking out at the writer, who seems to be arguing with Esposito. Castle's brow furrowed, and a look of pure disappointment is etched across his face. Her heart aches for him, and the need to just smooth those harsh lines in his face with her fingers...overpowers her. So she pulls the neck of her sage green turtleneck into her mouth and shakes herself out of it. She glances one more time as Esposito leans back in his chair in exasperation, and then says something while throwing his arms in the air.

Castle jumps up excitedly, and Kate catches a "You wont regret this!" from Castle before leaving the two men.

Kate hurries over to the coffee and goes about fixing two cups, her mind drifting to the plan Castle has obviously been putting a lot of effort into..and although Kate as not been excited about the prospects of Christmas since her mom died...she can't help but feel that nostalgic giddiness of the fast approaching holiday.

"So she's in?" Castle asks close to her ear.

Kate jumps, nearly spilling the coffee into the grate and herself but his hand reaches out and steadies her wrist. "Thanks.." She says and Castle finally lets go. She turns handing him his coffee and then lifting her finger to her mouth, sucking on the spot a splash hot coffee spilled onto.

Castle watches this, it's not even subtle.

"Yes. She's in. What about those two?" She throws her head lightly in the direction of Esposito's desk, and then removes her finger from her mouth, sipping her coffee.

"Ryan is very excited. I am sure he's already calling Jenny, says Christmas is her favorite Holiday...but we will have to do it sooner than I planned because they are driving out to Florida a week before Christmas." He informs, leaning against the counter and sipping his coffee as well.

Kate glances at his lips...but only because he's doing the same thing... "So they _are_ going to drive." Her attention then goes to what he is wearing, a green bottom up, she looks down at her own attire,_ we match_... and then back up at him...preferably into those eyes. She briefly wonders how they look with Christmas lights reflecting off of them. And then heat rises in her chest, that has nothing at all to do with the liquid she keeps pouring down her throat to keep her hands and mouth busy.

"Poor guy." Castle raises an eyebrow and looks through the window at Ryan who seems to have just gotten off the phone, and is now talking with excitement to Esposito, who's not all that thrilled.

"And Espo?" Kate asks, following his line of sight.

"He's game..but not happy about it." Disappointment flashes across his face. So quickly she's not sure she even saw it.

"That's what Lanie says...god Castle..I hope this plan of yours works..I can't watch them dance around each other any more..it's disheartening." She sips her coffee again, slumping against the counter in discouragement.

Castle spins around fluidly and stares at her open mouthed, cup barely at his lips. "Nice word." He then says. "And I agree." He nods.

Kate pushes off from the counter and walks past him. "When do you want to do this?" She asks brushing his shoulder on purpose and not waiting for him, she knows he'll follow.

"Hmm...do you have any vacation time?"

"When have you ever seen me take any of my vacation time?" She states, sitting down at her desk with a slight hitch at the corner of her mouth, brow creased in that cute way she knows he loves.

"Touche...well." He pauses, looking over at the boys. "We can collaborate with them...and you can take some of that extra time off..."

"What makes you think I will?" She challenges. She knows she will, but she likes to keep him guessing..

"Detective!" He exclaims. "It's Christmas.'"

"Okay." She says, poker faced.

"Come on..wait what?"

Her face breaks out into a grin at the childish pitch of his voice. "I said okay. I'll take some time off." She turns away from him like it's no big deal.

"All right then...Oh, Kate you are in for a treat!" He says excitedly leaning forward in his chair.

Kate raises an eyebrow at him, but starts in on her paperwork, trying very hard to suppress her own excitement. "What do you have in mind?" She asks in a tone she didn't mean to use, but it has a desired affect. She bites her lip.

"Well, You can help me plan the festivities...decorate...get the tree...please tell me your getting a tree..." He says. "Never mind, I am getting you one." He waves her away before she can protest. "we need to pick what songs we want to sing when we all go caroling."

"How about..."_I'll be home for Christmas?_" She suggests. She's always liked that one.

"Perfect." He pulls his notepad out of her desk and writes "Top Secret Christmas Playlist." Which makes her laugh quietly to herself. He writes down the song she suggested, then continuing on by writing in a few of his own. The classics like _oh holy night,_ and _jingle bells, _followed by_ White Christmas._

_ "_What about,_ Let it snow_?" She asks going for her coffee again.

"Ah, good one." He says tapping his nose and winking at her." He writes it down and then puts his pen to his lips thinking. "Now we need a duet." He whispers the last word, "for Esplanie." He points in Esposito's general direction with his pen.

Kate leans back in her chair, her fingers to her lips in thought. And then it hits her. At the same time as Castle.

"Baby it's cold outside!"

The two stare at each other in awe, equivalent to all the times they shouted who they knew the killer was, at the same time. Kate inclines her head, giving him an appraising look and then says softly, "That's my favorite one."

"Mine too." He replies in a deep tone reflecting her softer one.

"What are you two so excited about?" Esposito asks, him and Ryan are watching them from their desks.

"Christmas." Kate and Castle say at the same time. Man they are truly in sync today.

The two male detectives look at each other, and then back at the two with quizzical expressions. "Beckett?"

"Excited for Christmas?" Espostio finishes what Ryan started.

"Yes, is there a problem with that?" She arches an eyebrow at them. Daringly.

"No."

"No problem." Ryan finishes this time.

Castle just grins from his seat. "So, when are you guys free?" He asks over his almost empty mug of coffee. He frowns into it.

"Well Jenny and I are leaving on the 19th...so anytime before that." Ryan replies.

"Whenever Bro, I don't have any plans Until Christmas Eve." Esposito says, less enthusiastically. Kate throws him a glare. Which immediately makes him soften..just a little.

Castle turns to Kate who now frowns into her own cup, and downs the last sip. "You?"

"I can take the time off whenever. At least a week or a week and a half." She says, setting her cup down.

The boys throw her another look. Which she ignores.

"Alright well...how about." Castle pulls out his phone. " Today is the 9th... so the 16th?" He looks at all of them in turn, getting nods of approval. "Great double check with Lanie." He nods at Kate, Esposito frowns. "And then my Christmas party is that weekend." He gets up from his chair, taking his cup and Kate's, she smiles at him warmly in thanks.

"Oh man this is going to be great!" Ryan says with a full out grin and a twinkle in his eyes.

"You bet it is!" Castle says before disappearing into the break room.

Once he is out of sight the boys round on Kate. "Since when are you all full of Christmas spirit?" Esposito asks.

"That's not very..Beckett of you." Ryan observes.

"A girl can change her mind...plus." She pauses looking towards Castle seeing him through the window. He's bringing a stirrer up to his mouth and sliding it across those enticing lips... She can't help a small loving smile. "He's grown on me."

* * *

><p><strong>All Right Chapter 2. What do you think? Next Chapter will have some tree decorating and such with Kate and Castle. But you won't get it if I don't see some reviews..not to be a whiner, (40 alerts don't count) but I want to feel motivated, and I need to know your thoughts on this story. So Please review :D<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

Kate almost skips to the door that Monday morning to find Castle on the other side, holding two coffees and a suspicious looking bag dangling from the crook of his arm. She smiles broadly at him, not being able to help it, and lets him inside. He turns towards her, offering the coffee, which she takes, breathing in the sweet aroma into her nose.

"Want to know all my top secret plans?" He asks, waggling his eyebrows He takes a seat on one of the stool.

"Yes.. Yes I do." She's leaning on the counter in front of him.

"First...we have dinner at my place before we go out caroling. The whole gang is coming." He rubs his hands together, as if thinking about what to make for dinner.

Kate nods sipping her coffee "Mm, peppermint, nice touch...thank you" She sips again humming in satisfaction.

"Your welcome." He smiles back. "I figure that talk about Ryan and Jenny's wedding will come up. My mother will ask them I am sure." He rolls his eyes. "And that will get us all talking about the wonders of getting married and happy relationships, and you know..."

Kate smiles. "Nothing like a wedding to bring up all those harbored feelings..." She trails off looking away. Realizing what she just said. "What else?" She then asks trying to move this along, she's feeling quite awkward.

He pauses for a moment, analyzing her words, stores it away. She sees this all play out on her face and she's not as scared as she thought she would be. "And then we all go out into the cold and go caroling. Hopefully the affects of wedding talk as seeped into their minds...coupled with their attraction for each other outside in the cold. I'd want to cozy up wouldn't you?" He asks.

Kate opens and close her mouth. "Uh.. didn't you say something about a duet, and then ice skating?" She asks quickly, staring into her cup and drinking to busy herself.

"Yes. I picked out our songs, the girls sing one, the guys sing one, Esplanie...all of us. Anyway, it will turn out much better than it sounds."

"It sounds like a wonderful night, Castle."

"I hope so...and the ice skating should be fun..."

"I haven't been in years..." She trails off thinking of her mom.

Castle nods understandingly and the two fall into a silence. Only the sound of their faint breathing and swallowing of the delicious coffee is heard until Castle speaks up.

"How was your weekend?" He asks, fiddling with the bag forgotten. He regards her appearance. Bags under eyes, perfect hair, the usual turtleneck, this time a cranberry color, a soft glow in those beautiful green eyes.

"Hectic." She says, eying the bag again. She was so busy with paper work and closing their current case, and he was doing last minute edits before the holidays. She hadn't seen him until today. "How was yours?"

"Editing." He rolls his eyes. "And Alexis and I decorated, our little tradition." He gets that far away look in his face she adores. "She's shopping with Mother all day today." He adds.

"That's sweet.. So that leaves you with me then huh?" He nods with a grin. After a respectable silence Kate says "But yes I was very busy...but it's all so I can take my vacation." She says, elbows propped up on the counter, clutching her peppermint coffee in both hands. The warmth of the cup seeping pleasantly into her bones.

"Your set then!" He says, patting the bag.

"Well I am on call today..I'm not officially off until Wednesday...What's that?" She reaches for it.

"Nah uh, my dear Kate." He snatches it back waggling a finger and looking at her deviously before pulling out two Santa hats. "For Christmas tree shopping. Get your coat." He throws her a hat.

She gives him a skeptical look. "I am not wearing this out in public." She says as she goes to get her winter coat. She turns to see him standing all pouty face, wearing the Santa hat. The white ball resting over his right eyebrow. Her heart melts.

"But.."

"Compromise?" She asks, walking over and fixing his hat.

"Okay." He waits.

Her body is buzzing at the close proximity she voluntarily walked into. "I will wear my hat." she lifts it to his eye level. "While we decorate." She hands it back to him.

"Deal." He says taking her coat from her. She turns around without a second thought and lets him help her into it...and then, his hands are in her pockets from behind.

His fingers brushing her side through the fabric. Her eyes grow wide, and then close and she has to bite down on her lower lip to suppress a gasp. Her heart is pounding in her chest as he removes his hand and turns her around to wrap her green scarf, from her pocket, around her neck for her. She tilts her head to one side, eyes transfixed on his face as he so easily does this for her, like a habit..like a couple.

"What?" He asks, in a regular voice. He's just finished knotting her scarf.

"Nothing." She says innocently, tugging on his blue scarf and glancing at his hat and then eyes before turning away to open the door. "You look cute in that hat." She then says before walking out the door, leaving him standing alone in her apartment.

"Castle!" She yells to him. He's far off along the path staring up at a very large tree. She can see the look of pure joy on his face as he breathes visible air out into the cold afternoon.

"It's perfect!" He yells back opening his arms wide to the tree has if to hug it. He looks back at her happily. Strands of brown hair lays lazily over his forehead. She loves the way he looks all the time, but there's something about the unkempt Castle that intrigues her..along with the "just out of bed." look.

Kate rolls her eyes at herself, and Castle's unreasonable choice in trees thus far. She smiles though hugging her arms around herself to ward off the cold and crunches through the snow towards him. They are in an area with little foot traffic so she has to use his bigger foot holes to make her way to him. His longer strides making her stretch just a little more than she is used to. Plus she's not wearing fashionable heeled boots. But regular snow boots he insisted on. Finally she steps up beside him, and looks up at the tree, craning her neck. It's taller now that she is up close.

"Castle." She huffs out a puff of white air. "This is too big...for my apartment..and for yours." She nudges his shoulder.

He crosses his arms and steps away from the massive tree. "Your a spoiled sport." He says in a half pout before his eyes land on yet another tree and he's off again. They have been at it all morning and her stomach is growling.

"No. I'm practical..and hungry." She says, eyes falling away from the tree. She fixes her scarf and tramps through the snow after him. But he's disappeared. She stops, pivoting her body without moving her feet, which are now becoming cold. The high snow has stealthily melted it's way into her boots, dampening her pant legs in the process. She snorts, and continues walking amongst the tall trees. It's very quiet, She can't hear anybody else who might be picking out their trees with family, or breathing..or footfall. "Rick." She says. But her voice comes out shaky, and less annoyed like she intended.

"Kate." She hears him say, and then the sound of something whizzing through the air.

Kate turns just in time to see Castle peeking out from behind a tree a few rows down, his arm extended, she sidesteps the snowball, falling into the nearest tree. "Ouff." She groans.

"Kate!" Castle yells. He's beside her in seconds, taking hold of her elbow and propping her upright again. "That was graceful." He then says.

Kate glares at him as she picks the pine from her coat. He starts picking it out of her hair. When she's done, Castle is till working at her hair silently and with an expression of concentration. She likes the way his fingers feel in her hair. Imagines what it would be like to cozy up on the couch with him as he plays with her hair. She stops herself immediately. Inwardly shaking herself and looks at the tree she fell into. It's a nice one. Not to tall, sort of wide but it could work.

"Castle."

"What? Sorry.." He says sheepishly as if she caught him getting carried away or enjoying it too much. Which he definitely was. She could tell by the gentleness.

"Look." She pulls the hand at her hair down, grasping his wrist and points with her other at the tree she fell into. "I like this one." She lets go of him reluctantly.

"Hmm." He steps back, sizing it up, and then fixes the branches marked by Kate. "You sure know how to pick em." He remarks.

Kate just rolls her eyes. "Tell me about it." She mumbles as he searches for the hand saw he dropped somewhere along the path.

Christmas music filters through the spacious Loft. They just got back from lunch at Remy's, Castle had paid someone to drop their trees off at their places. Kate's will be safely waiting for her when she gets home. And she'll have the doorman help her bring it up. For now Kate sits on the couch, enjoying the warm room, shoes kicked off by the door. She feels completely at home she, closing her eyes and day dreaming about what it would be like to come home to this place every day, to that man, and his family who she adores. They would surely welcome her with open arms..in fact they already have.

She hum, opening her eyes and then singing quietly to herself as she looks about the living area. It's already decorated, minus the tree that sits bare in the tree stand on the opposite end of the fireplace. White Christmas lights adorn the stair case, and almost every single doorway/archway. Lights also decorate the hearth, where a steady warm fire glows brightly. She imagines him decorating with Alexis and Martha...a tradition she hasn't taken part in with her own father...not even after her mother died... Kate sighs, bringing a hand through her hair and resting her back against the couch. The whole reason she tries not to care about Christmas.. is that she really has no one to spend it with...not that special someone anyway. Just her father, who she pops in to see Christmas eve, for dinner. She goes home alone, to an empty apartment, and visits her mother's grave Christmas morning before heading into an empty bullpen.

She feels a change in the air now...it's lighter, brighter. Full of hope and promise. "Where's your Hat?" The reason for her new found spirit enters the room. His own hat atop his head and a giddiness in his eyes as he carries a box of ornaments and sets it on the coffee table.

"Oh...right." Kate looks around her and finds it stuffed into the cushions of his couch. She stands up, while his back is to her, and fixes it on her head, over her wavy locks. "How do I look?" She poses. One hand on her hat, while her opposite leg curls upwards. She tilts her head to the side in a cute fashion.

Castle blinks, and then swallows. "Adorable." He says softly, with a deep rumble in his throat. She smiles, and gives him a wink before heading over to help.

"What would you like me to do?" She asks, looking into the box, surprised to see it's not full of expensive ornaments but actually quite sparse. Instead she sees two sets of colored lights, and some homemade, and some store bought balls and decorations, some garland. Then again the rest of the house looks like Christmas threw up in it...

"The lights?" He asks. Handing them to her.

"Sure." She takes them, starting to unravel them when she feels his hand on her shoulder.

"Hot chocolate?"

She looks down at the hand and then into those eyes. "Yes please." She gives him a radiant smile and turns back to her task. Singing the current song softly.

Just as she's about to start walking the lights around the large tree, the music gets louder, and she spots Castle swaying to the music while pulling white garland from the box. He's singing along with her. She shakes her head. But he points at her nodding his head still singing. It's then she realizes that she's been singing quiet loudly, and swinging her hips to the beat. He grins at her in a way that makes her all hot and bothered, but tries not to let it stop her. The song ends and a sad tunes starts to play. Kate stops swaying for a beat, not sure what to do, because this particular song fills her with melancholy. It's Faith Hills W_here are you Christmas?_

Kate turns slightly to see Castle frozen in place. She wonders if maybe her face betrayed her, or her body language. Because she's no longer dancing, and her hand is still up holding the lights. She sees the panicked look in his eyes, and he points off towards the music, mouthing he'll turn it off...but she shakes her head at him with a small smile before turning away and choosing to sing. She matches it perfectly. Really getting into it, feeling the music deep inside her, what it means to her.

It reminds her of her mother...The two of them always picked the tree together..with perhaps a little difficulty every time..and then they'd come home. Make hot chocolate, put on the Christmas station, and dance to it while they decorated the house, and the tree. Leaving a few ornaments for her father, when he got home. But now...now..she feels as though she's lost her sense of Christmas. Her spirit...and her father was never really big on it..he only did it for them..Without her mother? Kate doesn't have Christmas.

Castle shows up beside her, holding out a steamy cup of hot chocolate. She plugs in the lights, and then stands up in front of him, reaching for the mug, her hand lingering on his purposely before she brings the cup to her lips. Castle looks down at her the colored lights reflecting in his blues...her breath hitches from the look in his eyes, or the general feeling of nostalgia from what they are doing together...she's not sure, perhaps both. His head is tilted to one side, eyes showing something she's not sure she's seen before. And then his hand comes up to cup her cheek. She's surprised, but leans into his touch. She's still singing, as Castle's thumb wipes away the moister she didn't know was there.

**So at the beginning I did not plan to go this way. But the song came on while I was typing during the decorating scene and it's where my mind went. Made me sad... anyway..please _review._ And I promise the next chapter will be less sad. **


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four**_

It's noisy, and irritating. Everyone in the 12th precinct imaginable is up and about, answering phones, discussing cases, booking loud criminals, filing papers, coming in and out of the break room, walking by her desk every ten seconds...and Kate? She's trying desperately to ignore it all and finish up her massive amount of paper work before vacation starts tomorrow. She's tired, and her body aches from leaning over her desk, and to top it all off, she's been too busy to decorate her tree. So it's still leaning against the wall, not even in the tree stand. Castle will be disappointed in her.

Another person whizzes by her desk, and a loud crash is heard, followed by the sound of several pieces of paper fluttering to the floor. Kate doesn't even glance up, just stops writing and puts both hands over her ears with a sigh. She tried, at one point, to put her earplugs in and listen to a little music to drawn them out, but she got a glare from Gates before poking her head back into her office. Kate just glowered back at the door closing and yanked them from her ears.

How easy it is to settle back into her routine of bitterness during the holidays when Castle isn't around. He's currently in a meeting with his publishers today before Christmas. Which leaves Kate to get her own coffee and to sit here alone while Ryan and Esposito finish up their own case and file reports. She slouches over her desk, eyes narrowed at the page in front of her, hand unconsciously writing out reports and signing the bottom of each page. Kate's stomach growls somewhere in between recalling a particular detail, dotting I's and crossing T's.

It's then her phone rings. She gathers it up quickly. "Beckett." She snaps.

"What did I do?" Castle's hurt voice filters through to her ears. She relaxes instantly. There is just something about that man that can melt the ice in her veins. Igniting a fire in her heart.

"Since you asked..." She starts, a smile in her voice.

"There it is!" He exclaims happily.

"What?" She blushes for some reason.

"That smile." He states adorably.

Kate smiles wider. "How was your meeting?" She then asks, putting her pen into her mouth.

He groans. "Boring...very boring. I much rather be there." He says honestly. And she catches that hint in his voice he only uses when being subtly affectionate. But she knows all his tells.

"Trust me. You don't. It's crazy here and all I have is a mountain of paper work...that _you_ still find a way to get out of." She teases.

"All right! You caught me! I went to this ho-hum of meeting to get out of paperwork." He plays along.

Kate smirks at his choice of words. "How ever will you make it up to me?" She asks, pen down on the desk and now her finger is playing with her hair absently.

"Hmm, I'll think on it." She can picture him in though, eyes wrinkled in the corners of his eyes.

"You do that. No go be an adult and get back to your meetings." She scolds.

"I will if you promise me one thing." He says, voice lowering.

"Hmm?" Her hair is now pressed between her lips.

"Go eat." He says knowingly.

Kate's stomach growls as if on cue. She releases her hair and checks her watch. Nearly 2pm. "Promise. In fact I am heading to see Lanie right now." And she is. She's gotten out of her chair and is swinging her coat over her shoulder.

"Good girl." And then he hangs up.

* * *

><p>Kate tiredly pushes the key into the lock, twisting with a yawn, and the pushing the door open. It bangs softly on the far wall, and then slowing inches it's way back. Kate catches the side of it, closing it behind her and then locking it back up. All the while looking down at the floor, too exhausted to raise her head, or pay any attention at all. When she looks up, her heart skips a beat and a loud gasp escapes her mouth. Dropping her bag onto the floor with a thud, she moves farther into her apartment, completely in awe.<p>

There, by her window between the kitchen and her living room, is her Christmas tree, adorned in bright multicolored lights. It's letting off a beautiful glow that cast itself about the room, which is dark. She almost doesn't want to turn any lights on. So she just stands there staring at it, this unmistakable feeling of love, and warmth, and happiness bubbling up inside her, spilling forth through shining eyes misted over, and a heartbreaking smile.

She walks towards it, reaching out with a shaky hand, as if she's about to put her hand through a mirage. Her fingers connect with prickly branches, moving up to press a green light between her fingers, feeling the tiny heat radiating off of it. She has never had a Christmas tree in her apartment..The last one she owned was in her old house before her mother died. Seeing one now? Brings tears to her eyes, and a chest full of nostalgia with a longing for the man who obviously did this. But somehow she knows he didn't do this just to "make it up to her." She knows that this act, was one of pure love.

"Castle." The man fluttering through her heart, and prickling every last nerve ending with pleasant sensations, answers his phone very softly.

"I...Rick..." She trails off.

"Your welcome Kate." He says with a hum. She wishes she was there, to feel the vibrations in his chest.

Kate sighs into the phone. One hand at the side of her head, weaved in her hair. "Good night, Rick." She soothes before hanging up.

Kate stands there in front of her tree just a little longer clutching the phone to her chest. The ambient glow casting her shadow across the dark floor, an odd, warm contrast to the usual empty dark feeling she gets when she is alone here every Christmas without a tree. And then there is a knock at her door. She jumps. Having been standing in silence for longer than she thought. She removes her hand from her hair, bringing them to her lips instead, and then unlocks the door to let Lanie in.

"Hey girl!" The ME says through a huff, walking farther into the apartment and setting down a handful of bags by the couch. "Nice tree." She observes. Standing with her hands on either hip.

"Yea. Castle and I picked it out...he decorated it while I was at work today." She says, becoming mesmerized by the lights again; conjuring up the image of his beautiful blues as the reflected his own Christmas lights. Her heart strings pluck, striking a lovely chord that oscillates the length of her body.

"You let that man into your apartment when your not home?" Lanie says, tilting her head to one side and cocking her eyebrows. "Did you check your underwear drawer for missing panties?" She then asks.

Kate laughs. "No I did not check. And I didn't _le__t_ him in. He must have found my key...I thought I hid it pretty well..." She trails off looking towards the door and biting her lip. Then she shrugs shutting it.

"Ready when you are." Lanie gestures towards all her bags filled with gifts to be wrapped. There are at least five of them and a half dozen rolls of wrapping paper.

"Uh yea..." Kate answers. She moves into the kitchen. Where she spots a set of white lights over the sink. She smiles shaking her head setting her phone down before and flicking on some lights so it's not so dark. She glances at the lights, and then the ones glowing from her living room before the tired woman heads to her room to get the presents she bought... Minus Lanie's which she already wrapped. She gathers her things, and then pauses by her dresser, juggling her stuff, she slowly slides her underwear drawer open and does a quick search, laughing at her own absurdity as she shuts it and goes back into the living room.

"So?" Lanie asks, she's sitting cross legged on the floor, back to the couch.

"What?" Kate asks, sitting down in front of her a good distance away so they both have room too wrap. "Oh.." She laughs, "all clear."

Lanie just smirks. Both woman go about setting up in a comfortable silence..only it's thick with things unsaid...questions unasked..Kate so badly wants to ask what the status is with her friend and Javier...but she's afraid of Lanie's temper, and stubborn persistence to drop the subject .

"Are we going to order in?" Lanie asks after a while. She looks up, scissors halfway through a roll of snow flake wrapping paper.

"Yea, sure. Hungry?"

"You bet I am!"

"Well you didn't have lunch." Kate points out, remembering back to that afternoon when she asked her friend if she wanted to go to lunch. But at the time Lanie looked very distracted and declined...she looked like she had a lot on her mind.

"Wasn't hungry then." Lanie says, her voice dropping slightly and Kate catches an odd look cross her face.

The detective gets off from the floor, glancing over her shoulder as she gets her phone from the kitchen counter. "Chinese?"

"Sure." She says absently, taping one of her gifts, the tape making that annoying sound before ripping off.

The detective yawns into the back of her hand, phone to her ear. She stares at Lanie who's being a little to attentive to her gift wrapping. She hangs up and sits back down. "Everything alright, Lanie?"

Nothing comes out just yet. So they both wrap their presents. Only the sound of paper wrinkling, and scissors cutting are heard. Kate stops after she's wrapped three presents, and looks over at her tree. She scoots closer, breathing in the smell of pine, and maybe a whiff of Castle, she hopes.

"He's a really sweet guy..Castle." Lanie doesn't look at her, just stares at the tree. She dodges the question and goes straight for Kate and Castle.

"Yes..he is." Kate agrees. Smiling at the lights..."Your dodging me." She then says, eying her without turning her head, her voice scolding.

"So."

"So you yell at me when I do it." Kate points at her with the tape still in her hand.

Lanie glares at her for a beat, and then sighs, face softening. "It's Javi."

Kate nods pulling a present out of her pile and starting to wrap it. She's giving Lanie the space and time to tell her on her own. No more pushing.

"I don't know what he wants from me...ever since that double date with Ryan and Jenny..." Her face becomes hard again for a moment.

"Well which one of you wants to get married?"

"I do..eventually..doesn't have to be now..but he's been acting weird about the whole thing. And then I told him he was either all in or out..." Lanie looks at Kate.

Kate nods stopping for a moment. "He's probably just scared." Kate says. She realizes how dumb that might sound. A guy like Esposito scared.

Lanie looks down at the now wrapped box in her hand, rotating it counter clockwise. "I want us to be together." Lanie confesses.

Kate is a little taken aback at this softer, more open Lanie. Something she hasn't seen in a while. She blames herself, for stepping so far back, and not paying close enough attention. "Then tell him. Go for it." She coaxes.

The ME looks up, wrinkling her brow. "_You_ go for it." She then retorts. "It's not that easy."

Tell me about it." Kate says under her breath as a knock is heard at the door. She rushes to her feet and answers the door before Lanie catches her mumbling. She pays and returns, setting it down on the coffee table and then going to the kitchen for a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You know I heard that." Lanie says smugly.

"It's not that easy." Kate mimics handing Lanie a plastic fork.

Lanie tilts her head to one side, giving her a look that says she gets it, but is still intrigued by such an omission. Instead of asking about it, she digs into her food for the time being. Perhaps waiting for Kate.

"I'm just sayin." Lanie finally speaks up through a forkful of rice. "I mean.." She swallows, pointing at Kate with her fork. "You took vacation off for him, you got a tree." She points at the tree now, and back at Kate. "Your celebrating Christmas. And you helped Castle decorate his tree. All without a fuss."

"How did you...Ryan!" Kate exclaims, growling the young detective's name and lowering her wine glass which she almost spit out.

With a smirk and a shrug, Lanie sips her wine. "What does this mean Kate?"

Kate briefly eyes the tree. "Nothing." She lies. Not being able to meet her friend's ever suspicious brown eyes.

"Yet." Lanie finishes for her all self-satisfied.

A long heavy, defeated sigh escapes Kate's mouth over the rim of her glass, the lights next to her reflecting in the deep red depths of the liquid. Liquid courage because she's not at all ready for what she's about to say to Lanie. But hopes that it will have an effect on her, and hopefully make her think about her own relationship with one Detective Javier Espostio.

"Okay..so I have been thinking about, _him.._recently." Kate says almost flatly, trying to brush it off as nothing even though it's a whole lot of something, and more. Could be anyway.

Lanie nearly drops her glass onto Kate's nice carpet. "Recently?" Lanie replies, not believing a word. But after receiving a look from Kate she lets herself be excited about it. "Now that is what I have been waiting to hear! For a long time girl!"

"Calm down. Nothing has even happened..I'm just thinking about it." Kate looks down into her takeout, pushing it around with her fork while a blush creeks into her cheeks.

"Well that's better than nothing Honey..and now is a great time! We have that dinner at his place, and whatever else planned afterward! Not to mention his Christmas Party." Lanie rambles on excitedly and Kate can't help but shake her head at her friends antics and smile a little.

"I agree...but on one condition will I even_ Attempt _to step over this line." Kate gets serious. This is a big step, to be taking for herself..but she also is looking out for her two friends who are obviously in love with each other, but are to afraid to take the leap..much like her and Castle.

"What?" Lanie asks skeptically, she crosses her arms.

"You try with Javi while we are together this week."

Lanie stays silent; obviously weighing this all in her mind. But after a while, she raises her glass to Kate. "Deal." They clink glasses and sip with content smiles on their faces.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>

**Btw. Loving the response to last chapter. Many reviews and over 80 alerts/favorites. I'm pretty excited! Keep it up! I need the motivation!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Special thanks to **_**Jasperwright**_** for being my Beta!**

_**Chapter Five**_

A small smile creeps onto Kate's face as she sleeps. A hum escaping her lips as it grows steadily wider. She moves a little, rolling onto her side tucking her hands under her cheek. Another hum vibrates through her body, air expelling through her nose, and then she opens her eyes. Blinking a few times, she lets her vision adjust, while that warm feeling from her latest Castle dream carries itself into the present... but when her eyes focus her face changes considerably. Now a frown takes it's place, that crease between her eyes forming and a tightness knots in her chest. She's staring at the couch, from what seems to be the floor. She swore she was just sleeping next to Castle a minute ago..in her dream she woke to find him staring at her. Only she didn't find it creepy at all, but endearing...she had smiled at him, bringing her hand out of the covers to rest on his stubbly cheek, caressing his face. He had hummed sleepily at her. Just before he was speaking, he was opening his mouth. She lent in to give him a kiss.

"Mmm Good morning." It felt so real... So she thought. In this dream, she had happily pressed her lips softly to his again, and she sighed against his mouth.

Kate rolls onto her back, her eyes meeting the shining lights of her Christmas tree with a sigh. She stares up into the branches, and lets that smile spread across her face once more. Maybe all of her dreams can become a reality now. Without turning away from the lights, Kate fumbles in her pockets, and then around on the carpet for her phone, finding it under the tree skirt and then pressing speed dial two before placing it to her ear.

"Kate...Hi" A sleepy Castle answers. His voice is deep and low- the bedroom voice she craves.

"I spent the night under my Christmas tree." She says, with a cute grin, also going for her own flavor of bedroom voice.

There is a sound on the other end, a low grunt, and what seems to be the swish of fabric. She guesses he's now sitting up in bed, and her mind immediately goes to his cute bed head and sleepy face. "Did you really?" He asks, she can hear him licking his lips like he does when he first wakes. The lips she so badly...

"I really did." She says, stopping her train of thought. It'll only make her heart ache. "I'm staring up into them right now." Her eyes twinkle, reflecting in the lights.

"That's adorable." He says without hesitation. Then she thinks she hears a slap, like maybe he just slapped himself in the forehead for not using a filter.

But she smiles, so much it hurts, and a small giggle escapes her lips. "What are your plans for today?" She asks, lifting her free hand to play with the needles.

"Well." Another shuffle sound. "Did you have something in mind?"

Kate bites her lips, pulling on a needle, but it falls onto her face and into corner of her mouth. She spits it out, making an interesting noise.

"What was that?" He sounds a little more awake now.

"Pine needle in my mouth." She says. The pine needle continues to be stubborn so she concedes to pull it from her face.

He makes a small sounds. "What did I tell you about eating trees." He scolds playfully, and then. "So, you really are under the tree." Now water is running, and his voice is an echo. She must be on speaker phone.

"Calling me a liar?" She asks in mock seriousness, and then a warning pang hits her in the chest. "Are you in the bathroom?" She asks quickly, hoping he forgets her previous comment.

"Yesh." He sloshes out. "Bushing my teef."

Kate laughs.

She hears brushing and then he says. "I love your laugh." And then he is brushing again, but more vigorously. It is as if he's trying to stop himself from saying anything else.

She wonders if it's just a morning thing. He doesn't usually have a filter anyway, but these comments are a little more personal, less playful and teasing. They are serious, intimate. But she doesn't care. In fact she wants to hear more from him. It sets her heart ablaze.

"You have a pretty great one too you know." She offers..has to start somewhere tight? And she did promise Lanie.

The water stops, there's a tapping sound, and then a clink. "You think so?" He's hopeful, she can picture the way his head has tilted to the side, eyes shining but showing a slight hint of insecurity.

"Yes." She replies. "Your eyes smile, too. Did you know that?" _Okay Kate, that's enough._

There is another pause, a tiny click sound. "I didn't know that." His voice no longer echos, she's off speaker phone, and his tone is deep yet soft, thoughtful.

"Mm Hmm." She flicks at a light that reminds her of his sharp blue eyes. "It's my day off." She then realizes.

"It is." He doesn't seem to mind her change of subject. "What would you like to do?"

"Who says I want to do anything with _you_?" She teases, scooching out from under the tree. Amidst standing up, her back cracks, and the scar on her chest pulls uncomfortably. She places a hand on it and tries not to make a sound in her discomfort.

"I Just thought you'd like to see my _smiling_ eyes over breakfast this morning." He replies back just as cheeky.

Another laugh escapes her lips. She's not sure she's laughed this much in one morning and it's only been twenty or so minutes since she woke up. "I'd love to, Castle." She replies, walking into her room. "Give me about an hour?"

"Sure thing my dear little Sprite."

"Sprite?" She pauses in the doorway to the bathroom.

"I'll explain later." He hangs up.

* * *

><p>"Sprites live in trees." Kate informs him. When she walks up to the table at Remy's, Castle is already sitting there. He has a cup of coffee in his hand and is looking dreamily out the window. His head was in his palm and his elbow up on the table. Steam is rising from his white cup and is warming his face. When he sees her, his head comes quickly out of his hand and he smiles widely...especially with those eyes.<p>

"Yes, Exactly." He replies, almost astounded.

Kate sits down across from him in the booth. He pushes her coffee to her, which she takes, feeling the burn on her cold flesh. "But..." She starts, sipping the coffee, " I wasn't _in_ the tree, I was _under_ it." She gives him a satisfied smirk and leans back.

Castle laughs. "Touché...but I still cannot believe you slept under your Christmas tree." His eyes shining, showing that playfulness she loves, with a hint of awe, because she always seems to surprise him.

Kate leans forward again, leaning her chest against the table, and then surprises him again by extracting one of his hands from his coffee cup. "It means a lot to me," She says softly. "that you didn't call me an Keebler Elf." Kate smiles slyly now, and squeezes his hand affectionately.

"What? No cookies for the man who decorated your neglected tree?" He replies easily, if not showing a little shock at such a tender opening.

"No. But I'll come over and bake with you an Alexis. That is, if you'll have me."

"I'll always have you." He says, and then his eyes grow wide. He starts to let go, but she holds on tighter. Seems like the two of them cannot help it. But somehow it seems easy, normal...maybe this. _them_, won't be so awkward after all...

"Thank you." She expresses, it's full of tenderness, and void of any teasing. "I mean it. For the tree, for everything." Now both his hands are no longer on the coffee cup, but one on hers, that is still tight around his other one.

"Always, Kate." He says softly inclining his head. "You know that."

"Yes. " She says."Yes I do."

The two stare at each other for several long seconds. Each realizing that they are indeed having a moment, and right when Castle goes to say something, the waitress interrupts; setting a plate in front of each of them and refilling their coffees.

"I hope you don't mind..but I took the liberty of ordering for you." He says, hands in his lap now since he was forced to let go of Kate's.

"Mmm, smells delicious. Thank you." Kate smiles again. It must have been at least the hundredth time this morning. She digs into her french toast. A long, deep moan makes it's way past her lips on the first bite, and her eyes roll upwards.

Castle's eyes grow so wide she thinks she sees his irises dilate and darken. And then he audibly swallows before stuffing a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. There is a comfortable silence. It is one that is full of tension, but in the most wonderful of ways. A tension she's always aware off, and likes how it affects the rest of her body, as if it's buzzing and fighting to not migrate in his direction. Even her fingers seem to itch to touch him. It's making her skin tingle as if it's waiting...

"Alexis and I will be baking this afternoon and I am doing a test run for dinner tomorrow night, so your welcome to taste test." Castle breaks the silence, reaching for his coffee.

Kate licks syrup from her lips. Funny how such a small thing is capturing Castle's attention. She prolongs the process before answering. Of course her face shows none of this deviousness. "I'm in." She replies, taking a large gulp of coffee. "What time?"

"You don't have other plans? I'd hate to keep you from them." He's insecure, yet hopeful.

"No, not at all, in fact I was about to ask if I am encroaching on your time with Alexis." Kate replies, tilting her head to one side, popping french toast into her mouth.

"Alexis is the one who suggested it. And encroaching? I like that." His voice dips.

She purses her lips, eyes rolling upwards briefly. "Yea?" She leans in.

He nods. "I appreciate your vocabulary." He says smoothly, like it's some turn on. Which, to a writer it truly is. "It's..." he trails off, searching for the right words.

"Conspicuous?" She asks. Her eyes are narrowing. A visible heat is filling her eyes as she pronounced it in a way that draws his eyes to her lips. It's sexy, and seductive.

His mouth is agape, and he can only nod.

Kate sits on the island counter, licking batter off of a wooden spoon. One leg crossed over the other, while her free arm props her up behind her back. She's leaning back just a little bit, so she's in Castle's line of sight while he cleans up the mess he and Alexis made. Every now and then Kate catches him looking at her, wiping the same spot more than once. She smiles, lips curving against the spoon and her tongue darts out to capture the last tasty bit.

"Mmm." She hums, absently tipping the spoon into the bowl next to her before he brings it to the sink.

"Your not helping." He almost growls, coming back to stand by her side. Kate knows it's more than just the batter.

"Oh leave her alone." Alexis pipes in, handing Kate another spoon. This one with cookie dough on it.

Castle eyes the dough. Then Kate does as well, waiting for him to do something. Kate's heart flutters. She opens her mouth, waits for Alexis to start putting the cookies in the oven...and then jolts her eyes to meet Castle's. She puts the spoon to her mouth, and takes a small bite. "Want some?" She asks, offering him the spoon, but not letting go of the handle.

He leans in, and then takes a bite from the same place she just did. "Mm. tastes good." He licks his lips and smirks at her. She smiles back; completely satisfied.

"Want some more?" She asks, puckering her lips for a moment and then laughing at the look on his face. Good, he caught her double meaning. She takes the last bite, and slides off the counter.

"Your such a tease." She hears Castle mumble as she starts to wash the dishes.

"So Alexis." Kate says without looking away from the current dish. "Are you excited to go Caroling?"

"You bet!" The teen says excitedly, from beside her.

"Where are we doing this anyway?" She looks over her shoulder at the two.

Father and daughter look at each other, Alexis asking him something with her eyes. "Dad," She deadpans, hitting her father lightly on the arm. "won't let me tell you."

Castle fakes hurt and wrinkling his brow and then smiling down at his daughter. Alexis pulls a can of whipped cream out of the fridge. "It's a surprise." he finally says.

"But how will any of us know what to do Castle?" Kate stands there with her hands on her hips and a dish rag in her hand.

She hears the whipped cream blowing out of the can onto a fresh pumpkin pie. Castle takes the can from Alexis, squirting it into his mouth. "Don't worry about it." He says through a mouthful and then offers it to Alexis holding it up. "Baby bird?"

Alexis shakes her head. "Kate might like some." She then says slyly before skipping to the stairs. "I have to study. Got tests before I go on vacation." And up the stairs she goes.

"Want some?" Castle asks, now next to Kate, he's rather close, arm poised with the can above her head.

She purses her lips, thinking about it, but shakes her head. She moves back to the dishes. "I've had enough sweets for today."

"More for me." He squirts another one into his mouth and grins at her. There is a trace of whipped cream on his lips. She fights the urge to sample a taste from his lips.

* * *

><p>"You spent the whole day at writer boys place, and licked batter off of wooden spoons?" Lanie asks from Kate's bed, She's laying across it, legs crossed, elbow propping up her head that rests in her hand.<p>

"You make it sound so dirty. Lanie. It was innocent..." Kate trails off, poking her head out of her closet, and worrying her lip between her teeth.

"Uh huh." Lanie doesn't look convinced.

"So I kicked up the flirting a notch, what did you do?" Kate argues, walking out wearing a soft purple top, with half her back showing, with a pair of black dress pants, she could wear her blacks heeled boots with. She stands there waiting for Lanie to say something about what she has picked so far.

"Hmm..." Lanie sits up, finger on lips appraising her friend. "I kind of like the top." Kate turns around for her. "Okay definitely likin the top, but not the pants...they need to be..."

Kate turns looking at her backside in the mirror of her closet door. "Tighter?" She asks, nodding at Lanie who nods back.

"Actually..." She scoots to the end of the bed. "Do you have anything like that top in say..a green?"

"For my eyes?"

"Yes, exactly."

The women nod again in agreement and Kate steps back into her closet, shucking her clothes and wading through the racks for a green top. "So, you didn't answer my question!" Kate speaks up from inside.

"What have _I_ done?" Lanie asks innocently.

"Lanie! You haven't done anything? Kate comes out wearing tight dark blue jeans, and a green halter top. She places her hands on her hips with a sigh. "I've held up my end!"

"Hey Girl! Calm down. Javi and I are not like you and Castle." She defends.

Kate gives her a glare and turns to look at herself in the mirror. She likes the shade of green, dark, not quite the shade of her eyes but it will help bring them out nicely. The pants will certainly do...To top has a back that resembles a loosely weaved spider web, that spans from her shoulder blades to the small of her back. Just the right amount of skin...What looks like a horizontal sash continues to her lower back where it actually stops. At the bottom is a thick strip of fabric that connects with the front. Only adding to her already evident beauty - Where as the front, is a halter with thick straps, baring her porcelain shoulders..

"I don't know what you mean by that." Kate says over her shoulder.

"I can't even explain it..but _you_ know..don't you?" Lanie stands up, going for the bag she brought full of clothes Kate is supposed to help her pick from.

Kate stares at herself in the mirror thinking about what Lanie said...She does know...with Castle...it's easy. Certainly more so now than ever. Maybe it's because they have known each other for so long? Their relationship as grown, slowly over time, and maybe that is the way to do it really...no pushing, no rush, and it's just manifested into something she can't stay away from. And she doesn't want to. Not anymore. The fact that she just does things with him, like a light touch, a flirt, a long meaningful look. All of it without it being awkward, or forced...it's just...it's given her hope, given her a glimpse into what they could be when she just steps over that line instead of dancing around on it's ever thinning edges.

"Yes. I know what you mean." Kate finally steps stepping away from the mirror.

Lanie stands away from the bed now wearing her outfit. Kate didn't even hear her putting it on, She was _that_ lost in thought. Lanie is now dressed in a short, translucent heather grape top tied nicely right below the chest line The sleeves flare beautifully with a black camisole with Lace that lines bottom. To pull it all together, she slips into a pair of black dress pants that flare at her feet.

"What do you think?" The ME asks.

"Hot." Kate says and then laughs.

"Not so bad yourself, girl!" Lanie muses bending down to pull out three pairs of various shoes. "Which ones?"

"Well." Kate says walking over in her stocking feet. "We want to be practical, since we are going caroling after and it's going to be cold." She points out.

"Not to mention snow."

Right." Kate nods taking a pair of brown leather heels that are way to thin. "So not these."

"Well I am going to wear tights under these pants."

"Good idea." Kate takes another pair, all of them are black which will go with the top, but she likes one pair with a thick heel, and only an inch, which is all Lanie really needs. Plus, they aren't so fancy, and they zip up the side for easy access. "These, and you can take them off during dinner."

"Perfect, now you." Lanie sets Kate's choice on the bed, putting everything else back into her bag and coming back with a box of jewelry. She sets them on her lap and waits for Kate to come back out with shoe choices.

"I thought knee high boots, since I am wearing tight jeans and there is still the cold to think about."

Lanie nods. "Good thinkin." Kate tries on a pair of black zip ups, leather and simple, they form to her calves just right. "What if Javi doesn't accept my advances?" Lanie asks out of no where. It's an insecure question, but it comes out strong, like she's already not accepting the outcome.

Kate looks up, zipper halfway up her left calf. "Oh Lanie. He'd be stupid enough not too...and I have seen the way he looks at you. You have nothing to worry about...I mean..Sometimes I see him waiting for you to do something."

"Really?" Lanie stops tracing the edges of the box, which she's taken to doing persistently.

Kate stands up straight. "Yes really." Lanie looks up, and smiles. "Now what about these?"

"You know.. I don't think knee high work with halter tops." Lanie confesses now that she sees the whole ensemble.

Kate walks over to her mirror, lifting her heel off the ground. "Your right." She says unzipping them and tossing them into the closet. "I think I'll go with something like yours then.

Lanie nods looking down again.

"What?" Kate asks, now in a new pair of heels, thick heel, put a half inch taller than Lanie's. She should have no problem though, she wears these sorts of heels all the time, all while chasing down suspects.

"He doesn't look at me the way Castle looks at you."

Kate stops, fingers wrapped around her heel, leg bent upwards towards her back. Her heart flutters. Because she notices the way Castle looks at her, but it might look different to other people. She drops her foot, the sound startling Lanie.

"You don't see what I see."

**Okay readers...I gave you a nice long chapter because this is the last one till pretty much Friday or the weekend. I will sadly be away from a computer. But I can read your reviews from my phone! I hope you liked this! I promise next chapter is the dinner/caroling/iceskating/ maybe late night drinks at the Old Haunt. Tossing that idea around but I am really leaning towards a Yes. Thanks for reading! Have a great week!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Special thanks to **_**Jasperwright**_ **for being my Beta!**

_**Chapter Six**_

Kate and Lanie stand outside Castle's apartment building, right on time. They have just stepped out of the cab into the cold winter air. From the way Lanie keeps staring up at the building, it looks like they might end up being fashionably late. Kate stands next to her, arms wrapped around her black pea coat, waiting for Lanie. The detective steps closer to the building, getting out of the way of a couple walking together down the sidewalk. They are snuggled into each others sides to keep warm. Kate watches their retreating forms with a ghost of a smile on her face. Once they are gone, she turns her attention to the lights that adorn the street. Various colored lights are also strung along the trees, and around steps of some of the other apartment buildings. Kate shivers, shrugging her shoulders up to her ears and breathing in the smell of winter and...what's that?

Snow.

She smiles wide, and then nudges Lanie. "Hey...you can't wait forever." She whispers.

Lanie looks over at her. "I know..." Kate can feel how tense her friend's body is, and nudges her again with a small reassuring smile.

"Let's go up. Everyone is waiting." Kate loops her arm with her friends and the two women walk into the building. The soft colored lights of the lobby seems to relax Lanie a little. Her body is melting into Kate's side as they get into the elevator. But once the doors close, the detective can't help the beating of her heart as it picks up tempo.

Soon Kate finds herself outside Castle's door with a feeling that washes over her. Something cold seeps into her bones that has nothing to do with the icy temperatures outside. It settles itself in her gut. She's panicked. Kate looks over at Lanie, seeing a reflecting sense of the jitters. Both woman are seemingly nervous. The brunette gives herself a moment to breathe, relax. This time Lanie waits for her. The two can hear the faint sound of laughter and Christmas music on the other side of the door. They realize they are missing out. Lanie looks to Kate, who nods, and then Lanie knocks on the door.

"Ladies!" Castle greets ushering them inside the warmth of his home, his metaphorical embrace. Kate feels instantly better.

"Hey, Castle." Kate replies as she turns for him so he can remove her coat for her. Her skin tingles as his thumbs accidentally brush her shoulders while he slides her coat from her body. He drapes it over his arm and goes to help Lanie. She's already out of it and handing it to him absently while she looks around.

"He's in the living room." Castle tells her knowingly, hanging up both coats in the closet and watching her walk off in that direction.

"She's nervous." Kate says from beside him, voice just above a whisper so only they can hear. She unwraps her red scarf from her neck, walking over to put it in her coat pocket.

"Lanie?" Castle turns towards her and throws a thumb in the direction of the living room. Not believing that their saucy ME can ever be nervous.

She nods, and then purses her lips, her eyes shining because Castle has forgotten all about Lanie and Esposito. He is now eying Kate, her outfit, and the way she fits into it. She watches as he not so subtly appraises her legs, which he has recently come to respect. His eyes move up to her flat stomach, caressing her slowly, it seems. Kate has to stop herself from closing her eyes at the invisible contact, but every nerve is tingling with sensation. Castle's eyes are undressing her; something she does not mind at all, and when those blues reach her chest? She wonders if he's looking for it..the bullet hole. But instead his eyes focus on her choice of necklace this evening. When he reaches her face, his eyes are dark, and then they soften. This is the look that makes her melt. Kate feels her knees begin to quiver. She finds herself actually hoping he doesn't try to touch her, or she'll lose her balance.

"You like what you see there, Mr. Castle?" She asks in a sexy tone, gathering her breath. Her voice was meant to be teasing. She just can't seem to help it. It spills out of her mouth and now she has to find a way to recover. Instead she brings a hand to the dragonfly pendant on her chest.

Castle's mouth is agape and he starts to splutter. "I..you..." He closes his mouth, and then opens it once again. "I do." He settles on.

She tilts her head to one side, almost shocked at his bluntness. But seeing how things have been going lately, she shouldn't be so surprised. So she just settles on smiling at him. The two stare, in the dim light by the door. Most of the apartment is dim, only lit by all the white Christmas lights. It is enchanting, the electricity in the room, the contentment that seeps into her heart. She hums softly, breathing in through her nose as Castle seems to step closer at her quiet satisfaction. It is then the smells assault her nose. It's the aroma of dinner cooking in the oven, mixed with Castle's cologne, and the faint smell of pine.

"Hey Beckett!" Ryan calls to her from the living room. He's standing next to Esposito, each with a drink in their hand. Esposito raises his glass in greeting.

Kate's eyes leave Castle's reluctantly, and she steps further into the warm loft. "Hey guys." She greets, looking about for her good friend Lanie. She finds her in the kitchen with Martha, Alexis, and Jenny. She looks between Javi and her best friend. Javi is completely ignoring Lanie, while the ME keeps glancing at him from time to time. Kate frowns.

"Kate!" Martha spots her, moving swiftly her way with a glass of red wine. She's wearing an elaborate sparkling red and gold dress, the sparkles definitely eye catching and Kate finds it hard to look away. "Darling!" She finishes, spinning Kate around in a hug. Kate hears the fabric jingle together like tiny diamonds. Kate is soon released to be then hugged by Alexis.

"Good to see you again, Alexis." Kate says affectionately into the young girls hair before letting go.

"You too, Kate." Alexis pulls back, giving her a smile and then goes over to her father. Kate watches as the two hug, just because they can. Alexis has on a modest navy blue blouse with a black belt, and matching black dress pants. She almost matches Castle. He's neglected his usual attire of suit jackets, and has settled on black pants and a soft blue v-neck sweater, making his eyes even more piercing. Both are standing in their stockings.

Kate looks down at her heels, deciding she will probably take these off sooner or later. She then finds herself being embraced again. "Hi, Jenny." She greets warmly.

Jenny hugs her very tight, and then lets go, holding her at arms length. Jenny is in a soft pink top, flared sleeves, and blue jeans. Her beautiful blonde hair sits nicely on her shoulders, framing her face. She's going to make a gorgeous bride. "How have you been?" The blonde asks.

Kate glances at Castle who walks over. "Great, actually, thanks to this one." Kate leans her head towards Castle, who's now inches away. He hovers a hand just over her back, her skin tingles at the closeness, and she silently thanks her choice in clothes.

Jenny laughs. "Kevin was telling me you're not normally into Christmas."

Ryan walks over, pulling Jenny into his side by the waist. "Great Work, buddy" He pats Castle on the shoulder, giving him a wink before guiding Jenny into the living room.

Smiling down at Kate, Castle gently places his hand flat against her back, and nudges her forward. "Drinks?" He asks.

Kate can only nod, her focus solely on the way his fingers are spread out on her back. His thumb is absently rubbing her spine through the gaps in the web of fabric. She tries to distract herself as her body begins to heat up. "Dinner smells amazing, what is it?" She asks.

As Castle removes his hand from her back, he drags the tips of his fingers along her skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. He smirks to himself as he pours a glass for Kate. She blushes slightly and takes her glass filled to the brim with crimson wine.

Leaning back against the counter Castle looks out at his family and friends. "Golden clove glazed Ham." He replies, tipping his glass to his lips.

Kate hums along with the Christmas music playing vaguely in the background. "I bet it's delicious." Her green eyes stare at his profile, seeing his eyes roaming until they land on Javi. He's standing by the Christmas tree, looking up at the star on the top.

Kate follows Castle gaze, and then nudges him. She gestures towards Lanie who's watching Javi from her place next to Jenny. She's not paying any attention to what the blonde is saying, just like Javi is not showing her any interest at all. Kate sighs, shoulders drooping. Suddenly the light happiness of this evening has left her at the sight of her two friends struggling to see what every one else can see.

"Did you talk to him?" She asks, now leaning beside him.

Castle shakes his head. "He's been dodging me."

"Mm." Kate turns towards him. "Well, Lanie is ready." Kate says, looking into Castle's eyes. She raises one eyebrow ever so slightly at the word "ready" trying to tell him more with that one word.

Something flashes in his eyes, and a smile creeps onto his lips. 'I'll make sure I talk to him before we go out." He promises, touching her arm gently and then turning to everyone else. "Dinner is ready, everyone, if you could all settle at your places around the table." He gives Kate his glass, and then moves around the counter to the oven.

Kate goes to the table, finding place cards with their names on them. She picks hers up, tracing her name and then sets it back to notice she's been seated next to Castle, who's at the head. She puts his glass down at his place, and then takes a seat. Everyone else joins her quiet chatter, now becoming louder with excitement. Looking around, a grin spreads across Kate's face. Martha sits next to her, Jenny beside her and then Ryan. Across the table Lanie sits uneasily next to Alexis, where Javi silently sits down adjacent to Lanie. Kate stares at her fellow detective until his eyes meet hers. She gives him a silent glare and a purse of her lips. His face softens, if not out of fright, and then he quickly glances to Lanie. She looks over at him, but he quickly averts his eyes down at his empty plate.

"Dinner is served!" Castle announces, walking around the table to place the ham in the center of the table where he proceeds to cut it up.

Oo's and ahs circulate the table along with clapping. Castle takes a comical bow, and then stands at the head of the table. He offers each hand to the ladies beside him. Alexis take his right, while Kate gladly take his left, squeezing it affectionately. "Everyone." He says. Eying Javi only.

Everyone clasps hands. Kate watches has a smile finally springs to Lanie's face as Javi takes her hand. The room goes silent, aside from the music. Castle takes the time to look every one of his family in the eye, squeezing his daughters hand and Kate's before he clears his throat. Kate notices he sound almost nervous. She notes the way the lights dance off his face, catching in his eyes. What's this? His eyes appear to be misty, and brimming with unshed tears. Kate can't look away, her throat hurting now from a lump that starts to form.

"Our most basic instinct is not for survival, but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." He pauses, his adams apple bobbing as he visibly swallows. He looks down at Kate and then around at everyone else. "You're my family." He says strongly. Kate wonders how he's holding it together, when this obviously is a struggle for him. She's never seen him so emotional before. "I have come to realize...after a year like we've had...this year. There is nothing I would not do to protect either one of you." He addresses everyone, but his eyes linger on Kate. "I am truly thankful for all of you, and that is something I will never take for granted."

Castle lowers into his seat. A hush takes everyone's breath from their lungs. Kate thinks she hears a sniffle from beside her, but she does not see. Her eyes are glued to Castle's whose own seem to be almost failing in the attempt to keep the tears at bay. Kate caresses her thumb along his knuckles. Raising her hand in his to then lay a soft kiss to his skin.

"Well said." Ryan finally pipes in after what was only less than a minute. Everyone makes a sound in agreement, and then drops each others hands. Castle's however, sinks below the table, his hand still tight in Kate's. He only moves it so he can weave his fingers through hers.

He winks at Kate, letting go before picking up his glass. "To family." Everyone lifts their own glasses.

"To family." They all say in unison, and then partake in a sip each.

"By the way." Castle says, a lightness to his voice now. "That was not my quote, I owe that to Paul Pearshall."

"It was lovely, Dear." Martha says from beside Kate, wiping at the corner of her eye with her napkin.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, Kate is leaning forward, plate pushed aside. She has one elbow propped up on the table, head in hand while the other swirls her finger around her partially empty glass of wine. A sharp musical sound filters from the rim, but no one else hears it above all the excited chatter of the coming holiday. However, she can feel the soft gaze of the host beside her. She's so relaxed, inclined slightly towards him, watching their family. Only a few members are missing. Her dad, she knows would have loved to have been here, but had a previous engagement. Her mother is most likely looking down on them all. She'd be happy for her Katie. Happy that she has found such a loving group of people. Not to mention Castle's mother and daughter, who have welcomed her into their home and little family before she even realized.<p>

"I'm sorry your dad couldn't make it." Castle's deep voice whispers into her ear apologetically and tender.

Kate turns her head, an inch from his face. Their noses are almost touching. "It's okay. He always goes ice fishing around the same time every year. But he should be back in time for your party." She says, trying not to look at his lips.

"Good." He smiles.

"This is delicious, Rick." Jenny compliments pointing down at her empty plate.

"Thank you." He and Kate simultaneously turn their heads toward Jenny, nearly cheek to cheek.

"Oh, Jenny!" Martha exclaims, wiping her mouth and setting her napkin down on her plate. "How are the wedding plans?" Castle rolls his eyes. Kate's dart to Javi. So does Ryan's, and then Castle. They see his body has tensed. But Lanie, who's sitting beside him, is relaxed, head in both hands as she listens for details.

Jenny beams. "Well. Not as hectic as before now that we are only a few weeks away. Now it's just making sure everything is as it should be." She places an hand on Ryan's atop the table. "Now I am just more anxious you know?"

"We both sort of just want to get to bypass everything else..."

"Wake up and have it be our wedding day." Jenny finishes for him. She leans his head on his shoulder. "We just want to start our life together." Ryan kisses her forehead.

"Awe!" Lanie burst out, and then claps a hand over her mouth. She eyes everyone.

"I second that!" Martha speaks up so it doesn't get to awkward. And then continues the conversation, asking about colors and cake choices. Jenny is more than happy to explain the whole thing. She sucks in Lanie and Alexis into it while the rest of them look at Javi. He's staring at Lanie with a silent bafflement.

Ryan kicks him under the table and shakes his head in disappointment at the way he has been behaving. Castle laughs, getting up from the table. "More wine?" He asks Kate.

"I'll come with you." She stands up, following him into the kitchen. The two are silent, watching as Martha talks animatedly about one of her weddings. Everyone laughs at the appropriate times, which only eggs her on.

"I'm glad I did this." Castle remarks, uncorking a new bottle of wine and setting it down to breath.

Kate looks him over. Noting the smooth planes of his face, how they no longer seem harsh from what this year has obviously etched into his handsome features. He's more relaxed. She has an urge to run her hands through his hair, smooth her fingers over the smiling lines at the corner of his eyes. But she refrains. "I loved your speech." she says softly, her voice contradicting the fists at her sides.

Castle notices this, taking them into his own, and spreading them out against his palms. "I meant every word...they mean everything to me...and you... your family." His voice is so sincere. It makes her heart ache and flutter at the same time.

"Castle." Kate whispers, her chin falling to her chest. That lump is back.

"Kate..." His finger hooks under her chin. "Please look at me." He does not force her.

She takes in a slow breath, raising her eyes to meet his. But she doesn't say anything, and neither does he. They don't have to. Their eyes speaking depths no words could ever express. The sound of more laughter snaps them out of their little moment. Kate laughs quietly, looking down with a blush. Castle lets go of her hands, and pours them each a new glass of wine.

"I noticed your not wearing your mother's ring anymore..." He says intrigued. His voice is etched a little with concern.

Kate's hand comes up to her necklace, where she picks it up from her chest and looks down at it. It's a Sterling Silver Turquoise Opal Dragonfly Necklace. It's wings spanning out from a yellowish white jewel of a body, and then it's tail which curves perfectly at her cleavage. She holds the inch long insect between her thumb and index finger, keeping her eyes on it, for now she is very aware of the dark blue irises of Richard Castle.

"It's about time I stopped letting her death define me." She looks up into those eyes, and see's a flash of something a lot like a pride, in those gorgeous blue eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>What did you think? I know I said this would have all of it, as in the dinner, caroling, and stuff both I thought Dinner deserved it's own chapter. Please let me know what you think! :D Hope you all had a great week, and have a great weekend!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Special thanks to _Jasperwright_ for being my Beta! Your the best!**

_**Chapter Seven**_

A spark. An everlasting burn of desire. Flickering, flickering. The flame anxiously awaits the moment when it can truly ignite. It sets out warning flares, a seductive tell. A gleam, a whisper, a soft caress. The feel of skin on skin, however slight, and the flame flickers closer to it's twin. Leaning so it can catch on it's lingering soul mate and truly set a blaze.

Kate feels the burn, so sweet and enticing. The act normally so innocent, yet pleasantly bothersome. She catches a gasp before it can escape; smothering it with a purse of her lips. Her coat slowly slides up her bare shoulders, his fingers causing every last inch of her to flush as a ghost of his skin lingers on hers far after they are missing. But the warmth of the fabric is no match for the heat he's left behind. It settles itself deep in her bones.

To make matters worse, he helps her pull her chestnut hair from inside her coat, his warm breath on her neck that sends chills down her spine. She peers at him over her shoulder. Her eyes smoldering, yet begging him to stop. She can't take much more of this. He sees her plea, responding with a small smirk, and then turning away to put on his own coat, handing her her red scarf. Wrapping the red fleece around her neck, she touches the back of her neck briefly with the tip on her finger, feeling the spot where his breath still remains. She sighs quietly to herself, and then lets the scarf lay over the spot, as if trapping it there.

Castle stands before her, zipping up his coat. She takes his blue scarf from his coat pocket, brushing his leg purposely through the fabric before pulling the scarf out. She sifts the fabric between her thumb and index finger, from one end to the other, all the while biting down on her lip, eyes on his. Castle's eyebrow raises, this look upon his face as if asking what it is she's up too. _What has gotten into you Kate Beckett?_ But he does not verbalize these questions. Perhaps settling for the mystery, waiting for this rare gift that has been handed to him, to be revealed in all it's splendor.

She doesn't say a word. Doesn't answer his unsolicited inquiries. But she acknowledges them with a wink. She throws the scarf over his head, wrapping it around his neck with a precision one would use while fixing a tie. Her fingers softly brush his ear, she sees his eyes darken, fighting not to close. It makes the fire burn brighter, hotter. When she is finished, she surprises him and herself, by pulling gently on the scarf until he's barely an inch from her, and then she presses her lips to his cheek. She lingers for half a beat, and then pats his chest lightly, letting go.

"We are all ready, to go Kiddo!" Martha sweeps down the stairs now appropriately dressed for caroling. Alexis falls instep behind her, hugging her dad's arm and smiling up at him.

Everyone else files in. Kate almost forgot that they were all here. She sighs in relief for the fact that her and Castle were alone for that small intimate moment. Lanie and Jenny were freshening up, and Ryan was discussing Javi's behavior towards Lanie in the kitchen. Castle had pulled Ryan aside at one point in the evening to fill him in on the Christmas Mission. The Irishman then took it upon himself to set his friend straight; if not with a bit of arguing. To Kate's dismay, Javi still seems angry. He is standing in his coat begrudgingly by the door while he waits for everyone. Kate finds Lanie, standing alone in the doorway while everyone files out. The brunette catches Castle's eye as he holds the door for them, but she shakes her head when he offers his arm. She'll stick with Lanie for a while.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Kate says, leaning into Lanie as the two walk the sidewalk a few minutes later. The night is chilly, their visible breaths rising into the air and disappearing to then be replaced with more puffs from their mouths.<p>

"Hey, girl." Lanie says a little more enthusiastically then Kate would have expected.

"I don't know what has gotten into him." Kate says, looking at Javi's back. He's walking next to Ryan, who has his arm around Jenny. In front of them Castle walks with Alexis and his Mother, both his arms occupied by the redheads. Kate smiles at the image.

"I do." Lanie replies sounding exasperated at herself.

Kate turns her head to her friend. "What?"

"He found out I have a plus one...for Ryan and Jenny's wedding..." Her lips press together, and her brow creases as she lets out a sigh through her nose.

"Oh...but you don't have a plus one." Kate then says nudging her.

"I did...I just haven't had a chance to change it back. Javi and I got in a big fight about it..."

"When?"

"This morning...in the morgue...He came down to get some last minute details on a report...he saw my invitation sticking out of some files.." Lanie looks Kate in the eyes.

Kate's heart aches, plummets into her gut, and an icy feeling envelopes her body. She can't help but think this deal should be off...that she's only hurting Lanie more by asking her to try, when it's obvious the two need a real break.

"Honey." Lanie says, leaning into Kate more. "Don't give me those sad eyes. I have a plan." She gives her a devious smile.

Kate smiles back after a moment. "I hope so." She then says.

"Oh, don't you worry about me." Lanie winks.

"Hello, lovely ladies." Castle expresses, walking backwards until he bumps shoulders with Kate.

"Hey Castle. Where are we going anyway?" Lanie inquires, hands on hips. She's stopped walking.

"Yea!" Ryan asks, looking over his shoulder, everyone stops all together on the sidewalk.

Castle sighs. "Rockefeller Center."

"The ice rink." Alexis adds.

"Shh!" Castle scolds her.

Javi walks a bit closer. "Dude, for caroling?"

Kate laughs at Javi's expression.

"Hey, why don't you all leave a little mystery huh? Where's the magic if you squeeze every last drop out of it?" Castle asks of them.

"Here, here." Jenny cheers, her cheeks already pink from the cold. Ryan kisses her softly.

"Come on guys." Kate says looping her arm with Castle's. Everyone eyes her for a moment and then they continue walking. Now her and Castle are in the back, Lanie has moved up to Martha and Alexis, and the other three are in the front.

Kate lifts her nose to the air, catching a whiff of snow, as she did earlier in the evening, and also, the scent of Castle. She hums, the satisfaction vibrating through her body, rousing his attention. Castle's hand comes out of his pocket, and rests on her's that is snug and warm on his forearm. He squeezes it, causing a smile to form in her eyes. As she walks beside him, her entire body is aware of him. His side pressed against her side, his warm hand hugging hers. It's a simple gesture that arouses this unmistakable feeling in her chest. A lightness in her heart. Something she doesn't think she has ever felt before. It curves a permanent smile onto her face. This is how she knows it's right. The right man, and the right time. One. Now done.

Kate brings a hand up to the dragonfly necklace, remembering what she said to Castle earlier in the evening about it. Only she didn't inform him of the symbolism behind it. She will...at the party...but since then, since she decided to put her mother's ring back into the box for safe keeping...Kate has felt a new life in her. As though she can feel the beautiful insect connect with her soul. Feel it's tiny life breathe against her skin every time Castle looks at her. It's a reminder of why she's going to therapy...this little dragonfly, and the love glances from Castle help keep that spark alive. They Keep her moving forward...Kate sighs, smoothing a finger delicately over it's wings. She breathes in the smell of snow again, the scent much stronger than before.

"I smell snow." She informs him adorably, resting her head on his shoulder.

"_Do_ you now?" He asks curiously, lifting his nose to the air. He takes a comical amount of air into his nose, letting it all out audibly. She bites her lip. "Sadly, I do not have your gift." He sighs.

She takes her other hand out of her pocket and pats the one holding hers. "It's okay, Castle. You have me. I'll always let you know." She looks up at him, not removing her cheek from his shoulder. She is met with crystal blue eyes that smile. She sees something there. Something that makes her heart rate pick up. Love. She lets out a tiny gasp.

"You okay?" He asks, eyes narrowing in concern, voice lowering.

"Mmhmm." She nods, looking off down the sidewalk at their family and other pedestrians walking the cold New York streets. She smooths her fingers over his knuckles absently. Thinking about her reaction to what she saw. It's not something she hasn't seen before. Only now, she's not afraid of it. She was more surprised at her own love bubbling up inside her.

"Never better." She whispers. Wrapping her arm tighter through his.

"We're almost there." Alexis yells to them.

Kate stares ahead, and is seeing for the first time tonight all the pretty lights around them. She's been so absorbed with Castle. She forgot to take in the joy of Christmas in New York. Every which way she hears shouts of laughter and the clodding of feet. The snow is thick and still fresh. Lights were strung from any place that would hold them. The night was so bright, a blind man could see for miles. And it's not to say she hasn't seen it all before. But tonight, is different. Tonight she's actually going to enjoy it, instead of rushing through it on the way to crime scenes.

"Beautiful." Castle says as they come to a monster of a tree. A tree one could only find here at Rockefeller. Staring at the tree Kate feels like she's looking into the night sky and seeing multicolored stars. She cranes her neck at it with her mouth open in awe. It's then she realizes that Castle is not talking about the tree at all, but he's actually talking about her. She can see him staring at her in admiration. She turns her head towards him, giving him the biggest smile yet, then kissing him quickly on the cheek before turning towards everyone else.

Alexis walks over to Kate looping her arm through hers. "Okay dad." She says turning towards her father.

"Let me go get Henry." He says, squeezing Kate's hand and then wandering off towards the ice rink.

Kate takes the time in his absence to watch the skaters down below. All the while Alexis leans into her, hugging her arm so tightly, Kate can feel the young red head shivering in the cold. She wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in. Something she sort of just did, like a habit. Something she wouldn't mind doing at all. Being a mother figure for Alexis. She likes the feeling.

"What does he have planned?" Ryan asks, sidling up to Kate, looking over at the skaters as well.

"Not sure...but I'm not worried." She replies lightly, almost on a sigh. She doesn't miss the knowing look Jenny throws her.

"Oh look!" Jenny cries out. Her and Alexis face where she is pointing. A couple is skating together, like pairs in professional ice skating.

"They're amazing." Lanie's voice comes from behind Kate.

Kate looks over her shoulder at her, seeing Javi just behind Lanie looking at the back of her head with longing. Maybe not all is lost.

"I once wanted to be a professional figure Skater." Martha says.

Kate and Alexis turn to her. "Why didn't you?"

"Are you kidding me? I didn't want to get up so early." Everyone laughs and then Castle appears beside them with a older man, silvery hair up in a ponytail. His green eyes lively, and a kind face.

"Ready?" He asks them all.

"For what?" Javi asks.

"Well." Castle says turning towards Henry. "Henry here is going to set up some mics down there next to the fountain." Castle points at the large statue of a golden man. Only a true New Yorker like Castle would know it's origin, name, and creator. It is a statue of the Greek mythology creature Prometheus. And it is certainly a gorgeous sight to see.

"We are singing for the ice skaters?" Javi pipes in again. His arms crossed. He didn't want to do this even door to door.

"Don't be such a Grinch." Lanie says playfully. But Javi scowls

"And, we will be able to be heard throughout the rink, yes." Castle finishes, eying the two, and then glancing at Kate.

"I'm in." Kate says immediately. Castle full out grins at her.

"Me too!" Alexis says excitedly, jumping up onto the balls of her feet for a moment and then squeezing Kate.

"You know I am Kiddo."

"Kevin and I are in as well." Jenny says looking up at Ryan for conformation.

"Of course." Ryan nods.

"I'm up for anything at this point." Lanie nods as well.

Everyone turns towards Javi. His arms uncross. "Fine."

"Great!" Castle gestures for everyone to follow. Lanie leads the way, with Ryan and Jenny and Martha behind her. Castle walks next to Alexis. He's beaming at the way his daughter is so comfortable snuggling up to Kate. Javi walks next to Kate, who shoves him playfully. Trying to snap him out of it. He looks at her, and then cracks a tiny smile.

As they walk towards the fountain, they all take in the breathtaking sight of everything around them. There is a Lego shop, an ice cream store, and countless other unique establishments. If anything had pulled them apart this year, it was gone now. The soft glow of the Christmas colors has put the warmth back in their bodies and their hearts.

Down on the platform, Henry has some men bring out four Mics on stands. Castle pulls a stack of paper out of his pockets, eight packets stapled together. He hands them out, and Kate realizes that they are lyrics. The first song is H_ave yourself a merry little Christmas._

"Okay guys." Castle claps his hands together enthusiastically. Kate can see he's barely containing himself.

He takes Ryan by the shoulders, moving him in front of one mic. Jenny follows. Alexis and Martha at one. And Javi and Lanie. Javi standing as far away as possible. It seems like he's going to hold this grudge forever. Castle pushes him forward almost knocking the mic over and then glares at him. Lanie just seems all to happy to be singing next to him. Castle then takes up position next to Kate. She stares at the mic, biting her lip, and then glances at the lyrics, which she knows by heart. She may not celebrate Christmas, but she knows all the songs secretly.

"We are singing to instrumentals. We're the only vocals. You guys ready?" Everyone nods. "Okay. The songs go in order as I gave them to you. We all sing the first one together. The second one is mostly Jenny and Ryan, I have the lyrics marked accordingly." Castle says all excitedly. Kate finds it unbelievably adorable. " And then the ladies sing the third one, Men sing the one after, and then Lanie and Esposito. And all together in the end." Javi goes to open his mouth in protest but Castle has already nodded at Henry who starts the music.

In front of them, some skaters have stopped to see what is going on, making Kate feel a little bit of stage fright, but as Castle starts them off, his voice soothes her, and she soon finds herself singing along with everyone else.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
>Let your heart be light<br>From now on your troubles will be out of sight, _

Kate sings smoothly, her voice carrying out above the others.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
>Make the Yuletide gay<br>From now on your troubles will be miles away, _

She looks over at Castle, singing "away" long and high. Now soft.

_Here we are as in olden days  
>Happy golden days of yore,<br>Faithful friends who are dear to us  
>They gather near to us once more, <em>

Kate watches as her little family look about each other with smiles. It's as though everyone thought the same thing. She winks at Lanie, seeing that Javi has stepped just a little bit closer.

_Through the years we all will be together and  
>If the fates allow<em>

Kate's looking at Castle again, staring at his profile. He moves in closer, his arm brushing hers.

_Hang a shining star upon the highest bow, _

Her voice rises beautifully, catching her partners attention. All eyes of the group are on her, for some reason now as they sing.

_And have yourself a merry little Christmas now,_

_Faithful friends who are dear to us_  
><em>They gather near to us once more,<em>

_Through the years we all will be together and_  
><em>If the fates allow,<em>  
><em>But 'til then we'll have to muddle through somehow,<em>  
><em>And have yourself a merry little Christmas now,<em>

She ends softly. When the music stops. There is a small pause before the other one starts. Martha grins at her with a raised eyebrow. Kate guesses maybe they couldn't keep up with her. She blushes, going to open her mouth the apologize, but the next song is starting. She flips the page quickly. It's now, _Let it Snow._ Castle points at Ryan, who starts.

_Oh the weather outside is frightful,  
>But the fire is so delightful,<br>And since we've no place to go,  
>Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!<em>

Ryan sings, his voice almost jazzy. Jenny is grinning now singing her part:

_It doesn't show signs of stopping,  
>And I've bought some corn for popping,<br>The lights are turned way down low,_

Now everyone

_Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!_

Ryan

_When we finally kiss goodnight,_

She kisses his cheek

_How I'll hate going out in the storm!  
>But if you'll really hold me tight,<br>All the way home I'll be warm._

His arms is around her shoulders. They sing this part together:

_The fire is slowly dying,  
>And, my dear, we're still good-bying,<br>But as long as you love me so,_

Everyone now:

_Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! _

They clap, Ryan bowing, with a sheepish grin.

"Ladies." Castle says. The women gather around two mics. Alexis and Martha at one, Kate , Lanie and Jenny at the other. They glance at the lyrics and smirk at the men who stand back and grin at them. Kate fixes Castle with a leer, and he visibly gulps. He's probably wondering what he got himself into. The songs starts. It's Mariah Carey's version of _All I Want for Christmas is You._

_I don't want a lot for Christmas  
>There's just one thing I need <em>

Jenny starts, alone, as instructed. Lanie and Kate swaying their hips to the beat. Lanie sings this next part.

_I don't care about the presents  
>Underneath the Christmas tree <em>

Now Kate, who's all too eager, her voice rises, carrying out beautifully.

_I just want you for my own  
>More than you could ever know<br>Make my wish come true  
>All I want for Christmas is...<br>You _

The Martha and Alexis join. All five singing. Kate eyes never leave Castle. Lanie's are on Javi who seems to have lost himself. He stares, as Lanie practically serenades him. The beat picks up.

I don't want a lot for Christmas  
>There's just one thing I need<p>

The five of them have the same idea, lifting one finger. Their voices blending together.

_I don't care about the presents  
>Underneath the Christmas tree <em>

_I don't need to hang my stocking  
>There upon the fireplace <em>

Their voices rise with Kate's. Finally following her lead.

_Santa Claus won't make me happy  
>With a toy on Christmas day <em>

_I just want you for my own  
>More than you could ever know <em>

_Make my wish come true  
>All I want for Christmas is you <em>

Lanie points at Javi, Jenny at Ryan of course, and Kate at Castle who points at himself and mouth's "me?" With a silly grin.

_You baby _

Kate's nodding as she sings. She's feeling very bold.

OH

_I won't ask for much this Christmas  
>I don't even wish for snow<br>I'm just gonna keep on waiting  
>Underneath the mistletoe <em>

Lanie's nodding now. Kate catches it in her peripheral vision. Wondering if this is Lanie's "Plan"

_I won't make a list and send it  
>To the North Pole for Saint Nick <em>

Again, Kate kicks it up everyone following in time. Even Alexis who has such a sweet voice.

_I won't even stay awake to  
>Hear those magic reindeer click <em>

_'Cause I just want you here tonight  
>Holding on to me so tight <em>

They hug themselves. All in sync

_What more can I do  
>Baby all I want for Christmas is you <em>

All five women sing:

_Ooh baby _

They abandon Kate for this:

_All the lights are shining _

She falters for half a second glaring at Castle for making her do this part alone...but then really getting into it, her voice rising, and filtering out towards all the skaters. Most of them have now stopped to hear Kate.

_So brightly everywhere  
>And the sound of children's<br>Laughter fills the air _

_And everyone is singing  
>I hear those sleigh bells ringing <em>

The other four join in again.

_Santa won't you bring me the one I really need  
>Won't you please bring my baby to me...<br>_

Swaying in time with each other.

_Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas  
>This is all I'm asking for <em>

_I just want to see my baby  
>Standing right outside my door <em>

Castle's watching how easily Kate melts into the song, swaying her hips, his attention flicking from those hips to her lips.

_Oh I just want you for my own  
>More than you could ever know<br>Make my wish come true  
>Baby all I want for Christmas is...<br>You _

Kate winks at Castle and the men erupt in cheers. The music stops. A small interlude before the men sing. Kate goes back to her mic looking down at her paper embarrassed. Castle presses his side into her's. He goes to open his mouth but his mother speaks.

"Darling I had no idea you had such a beautiful voice!" Everyone nods in agreement staring at Kate. They have never heard her before, aside from that little rendition of "Piano Man."

Kate just shrugs, blushing profusely. "You really do, Kate." Castle practically growls into her ear. She shivers. "You were really into it too...did you mean it?" He then asks, pointing at the last line on the page.

Kate looks up at him, narrowing her eyes seductively, and tilting her head to one side. "Maybe."

* * *

><p><strong>Where did you guys go? How Am I suppose to know if your still reading if I don't get even like one review? What happened?<strong>

**(Sad face)**


	8. Chapter 8

_**As always,** thank you _Jasperwright_ for being my Beta! **  
><strong>_

_**Chapter Eight**_

There it is again. The warmth. A feeling so divine, it beats in her heart, seeping out to the rest of her body, and hugging her soul. Her skin quivers. Softly at first, and then so violently she has to hug herself to stop it. Luckily, it looks more like she's shivering from the cold. When in all actuality, she's trying to hold back her emotions, and her desire to kiss him.

Castle on the other hand, is still staring at her far after her last comment of "Maybe". She wants to cover that awe stricken mouth of his with her own, and further astound him. There is nothing like a good tease. Yet she wants to make it even better following up that swordplay, with a little foreplay. She shivers again. This time he notices, reaching out a hand to rest on her shoulder.

"Just cold." She shrugs, giving him a sweet smile.

Before he can open his mouth, a new song starts. He shakes his head, as if snapping himself out of something undefined, and then walks over to the guys, dragging then over to a set of mics. "smooth." He says to them. They nod. It's the Michael Buble's version of _I'll be home for Christmas._

_I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love  
>Even more than I usually do<em>

The three men started off together smoothly their voices blending together.

_And although I know it's a long road back  
>I promise you<em>

Their arms reach out to the ladies huddled together. They draw out the word "You." before Javi has to sing this part alone.

_I'll be home for Christmas_  
><em>You can count on me<em>

It's nice and slow, a sweet serenade, a musical love letter. It draws the three women in, Martha and Alexis looking on knowingly with amusement.

_Please have snow and mistletoe  
>And presents by the tree<em>

Ryan licks his lips, taking in a breath and singing his lines to Jenny. His head tilts to one side, blue eyes thoughtful.

_Christmas eve will find you_  
><em>Where the love light gleams<em>  
><em>I'll be home for Christmas<em>

_If only in my dreams  
><em>

Castle is up next. Kate sees he's trying not to look at her for some reason. Perhaps not wanting to make a scene for everyone to ponder over. But he can't seem to help it, his eyes locking on her green ones.

_I'll be home for Christmas  
>You can count on me<br>Please have some snow and mistletoe_

He pokes his nose, and then winks at Kate with a promise of always.

_And presents by the tree_

_Christmas eve will find me_  
><em>Where the love light gleams<em>

His eyes shine brightly with love. Kate's hands come out of her pockets, resting over her heart.

_I'll be home for Christmas_

All three of their voices come together in the end in a deep harmony.

_If only in my dreams  
>If only in my dreams <em>

When the song ends. Jenny flies at Ryan, smothering his face with kisses. Castle walks over to Kate, looking her dead in the eye, and then takes Lanie's arm without looking at her. He brings her over to Javi, pushing her lightly up against him, and then points at the lyrics they have to sing. Lanie's eyes light up, and she looks up at javi, who's staring at the lyrics. All signs of his previous willingness is now gone as he starts to shake his head.

"No. No way." He shoves the lyrics at Castle.

"Come on, don't let the lady down." Castle says trying not to get angry as he gives him back the pages.

The song starts. The music filtering out while the two men argue in hushed tones. Kate looks at Lanie, who seems crushed, and then down at the lyrics. She realizes this is not going to happen and she needs to do something. All in a matter of seconds this conspires. And then she grabs the mic and sings.

_I really can't stay_

Castle stops arguing thinking quickly and grabbing the mic next to him. Kate is drawing the lines out so he can catch up.

_**Baby, it's cold outside**_

His deeper voice echoes throughout the rink. Kate's heart flutters as she sings her line.

_I've gotta go away_

_**Baby, it's cold out there**_

_This evening has been_

_**Been hoping that you'd drop in**_

_So very nice_

She nods smiling appreciatively at Castle.

_**I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice**_

She feels his hand slip into hers, the other holding up the mic. Her eyes linger on those lips while he sings.

_My mother will start to worry_

She's Soothing out the lyrics beautifully for him, and him alone.

_**Beautiful, what's your hurry?**_

_My father will be pacing the floor_

_**Just listen to that fireplace roar**_

_Now really I'd better scurry_

She says the word with a raised eyebrow and a slight shake of her head. Playing the part.

_**Sweetheart, what's your hurry?**_

_Well, maybe just a half a drink more_

_**Why don't you put some records on while I pour?**_

_The neighbors might think_

_**Baby, it's bad out there**_

_Say, what's in this drink?_

She looks at him curiously.

_**No cabs to be had out there**_

_I wish I knew how_

_**Your eyes are like starlight now**_

_To break this spell_

The two are entirely lost in each other.

_**I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell**_

_I oughta say 'no, no, no sir'_

She's shaking her head slyly.

_**Mind if I move in closer?**_

Before she realizes, Castle is so close she can hardly breath. Her heart skips several beats, almost making it impossible to sing her line.

_At least I'm gonna say that I tried_

Her free hand comes up burring in his scarf, yanking him just a bit closer.

_**What's the sense in hurting my pride?**_

_I really can't stay_

She acts as though she's about to leave, stepping in once more.

_**Baby, don't hold out!**_

Their voices rise in unison, her's above his, lighter, prettier. His complimenting hers in the most perfect way.

_Oh, but it's cold outside_

There is a break in the song, just instrumentals. Kate realizes she is slightly out of breath. Almost like all of the times they talk theory together. The back and forth just about the same.

_I simply must go_

She lets go of his scarf, turning away from him.

_**Baby, it's cold outside**_

He grabs her hand again, squeezing tightly.

_The answer is no_

She shakes him off. Her heart pounding as if this is a real chase. But what is she thinking? Of course it is. Their whole relationship has been a chase.

_**But baby, it's cold outside**_

**This welcome has been**

She's back to him again, smoothing her hand up to his chest, feeling the cold fabric against her palm.

_**So lucky that you dropped in**_

His face dips closer. She takes in a breath, eyes sliding shut momentarily.

_So nice and warm_

She's resiting the urge to cup his face. Feel the warmth of his skin_._

**_Look out that window at that storm_**

It's actually beginning to snow. Kate lets out a soft gasp, but does not falter in her singing.

_My sister will be suspicious_

She glances at Lanie, whose staring.

_**Gosh, your lips look delicious**_

His eyes are transfixed on her mouth. She tires not to look at his.

_And my brother will be there at the door_

Instead she turns her head towards the boys, a look of bewilderment and curiosity on their cold faces.

**Waves upon a tropical shore**

She feels castle's hand come up, brushing her hair behind her ears. Her skin tingles in response.

_My maiden aunt's mind is vicious_

His hand lingers, caressing her ear. She shivers.

_**Ooh, baby you're so delicious**_

_Maybe just one little kiss more_

She leans her face into his hand. She kisses his palm, wet lips on soft skin.

_**Never such a blizzard before**_

He tries not to react, but his eyes narrow face softening.

_Oh, I gotta go home_

_**You'll freeze to the bone out there**_

_Hey, lend me your coat_

She grabs at his lapel, tugging again. She a little closer and her lips could be on his.

_**It's up to your knees out there**_

_You've really been grand_

_**I thrill when you touch my hand**_

He has her hand again.

_But don't you see?_

She turns towards the group, who are all transfixed.

_**How can you do this thing to me?**_

He seems to be really asking her.

_There's bound to be talk tomorrow_

The all nod at her. She bites her lip while he sings his line.

_**Making my lifelong sorrow**_

_At least there will be plenty implied_

She raises her eyebrow, tilting her head to convey a deeper message.

_**If you caught pneumonia and died**_

He almost deadpans.

_I really can't stay_

She clutches his hand tighter drawing out the word.

_**Get over that old out**_

_Baby, it's cold outside!_

There voices meld together perfectly, just like with every other aspect of them. And when the song is over, a silence enveloping them. As if they are the only ones standing in the snow. And then Alexis breaks the staring being done by everyone else.

"Lets go skating."

* * *

><p>The cold air nips at her cheeks, her nose red, and numb. But she doesn't care, because Castle's hand is in hers. Keeping her warm from the inside out. Her heart pounding in such a way, it makes her feel alive. He makes her feel truly happy. And that is enough. It will always be enough. She didn't think it would be, but looking at him now? Seeing his smiling eyes, the way he looks at her, the feel of him so close? She wishes she realized this a long time ago. Wishes that she stopped letting her mother's murder define her years ago... She's seeing all the signs. Granted a little late... The ones she was afraid to see before. But now? Everything is so clear. From falling in love with his books, the man on the back cover to meeting him by chance..or was it fate? Everything has led her straight to him...and now..she's ready to dive right in.<p>

"Hey, watch it!" Castle yells to Alexis who whizzes by on her skates. He nearly falls over bringing Kate with him.

"Castle, if you keep tripping I'm not going to hold your hand anymore." She half teases.

His eyes snap to hers, and he grips her hand tighter. "Sorry...it's been a while."

"Me too." She says. Her voice even. She looks off ahead of her, trying not to let the nostalgia take over.

Castle pulls her closer. Before they were linked, but with a good arms length between them. Now his shoulder is flush with hers. She gives him a small reassuring smile. "I was afraid of this." He says anyway. Seeing past those eyes, and seeing how she's truly feeling.

Kate tries not to look away. "Afraid of what?" She asks innocently, swinging their hands back and forth.

Ryan and Jenny skate by, Jenny skating circles around Ryan, whose big blue eyes are open in shock. He's already fallen over three times. Jenny's laugh carries to their ears, and Kate looks away momentarily to watch as Ryan trips over his toe pick. Jenny catches him, her arms out as if reaching for a small child. Ryan grasps her hands. She helps steady him, and the two skate off side by side now. Kate wants what they have...she has it really...she just hasn't given into it fully.

"Of what this reminds you of." Castle says drawing her attention back to him.

Kate pulls Castle to the far wall, coming to a perfect stop in front of him. She studies his face. Seeing the creases by his eyes, the way his lip turns slightly downwards only when he's deeply concerned. She sees the flush in his cheeks from the effort to stay upright. "Rick." She says. "It's really okay." She takes his other hand now. "There are some things, most things, that I want to remember from time to time..sure they make me sad, but in a good way." She inclines her head towards him, opening her mouth and raising her eyebrows, waiting for him to understand.

After a moment a smile breaks onto his face, it turns playful, and she waits for it. "At least now I get to see you in action." He says, letting go of her hand and prompting her forward. "Go on, show me your skills." He pulls out his phone, and starts taking pictures.

"Oh now I see your plan all along." She's skating backwards and pointing at him accusingly.

"You caught me..now skate!" She hears his phone snap a picture, turns around and races off so he can't get anymore close ups.

Kate lifts her face into the air. Her hair flows out behind her, along with her arms. She feels free. Feels the wind on her face, however freezing, and remembers back to when her mother and her would come skating here. Her father would watch, snapping the pictures. Her mother would always try to get him out on the ice. But he rather not have his two favorite girls skating circles around him. Much Like Alexis does to Castle.

"Hey Girl." Lanie calls to her. Kate turns her head, seeing Lanie venturing out onto the ice.

"Hey." Kate skates over, "Where's Javi?" She asks, feeling apologetic, she thought she saw him standing off to one side staring at Lanie as she talked to Martha. She's also around here somewhere. Kate never pegged her for the skating type anyway.

Lanie looks around, then shrugs. "He mumbled something about coffee...or how cold it is..I don't know." The two women skate slowly side by side.

"Want me to kick his ass?" Kate offers, mostly serious.

Lanie gives her a tight lipped smile, as if considering, but then shakes her head. "No. I can fight my own battles." She nudges her. "But thank you." She then adds.

Kate just smiles.

"I see you and writer boy have been pretty cozy." Lanie starts after a moment. "And that duet!" She fans her face.

"Oh stop." But Kate blushes profusely.

"It's about time...And I'm not just saying that because I have a lot of money on you two." Lanie says truthfully.

"Thank you...I think." Kate frowns slightly, but lets it go. "Hey. You said something about you having a plan earlier."

"Still do."

"What is it?"

Lanie laughs, turning so she's skating backwards in front of her. "You'll just have to wait and see!" And then she's off.

"How's Lanie?" Castle asks somewhere beside Kate.

She jumps, and then skates in a circle around him. He's somehow made his way to the center of the rink, however ungraceful. "Castle!" She scolds, bringing a hand to her heart.

"Oh so it's Castle now?" He pouts. He soon drops it when she glares at him. "Mother is taking pictures. Just so you know. You can't escape. One day I am going to show them to your future kids." He laughs.

Kate shrugs. "They wont be as embarrassing as yours." She points out with a laugh and then realizes what that statement might imply.

"Oh, I don't mind. Alexis has seen me doing plenty of embarrassing things. I am sure a few more won't hurt." He replies easily. "In fact. She'll probably tell them all about it." He then says.

"You want more kids?" Kate asks, not being able to help herself.

"Yes." He doesn't hesitate.

Kate goes silent. She stares at Castle's profile. He's watching a young girl help her little brother up from the ice. Kate looks on thoughtfully. She wonders what it would be like to have her own kids. She never really thought of it before. Never thought kids were a possibility. She's never had the time. What with her mother's murder, and then her job. But watching these kids now? She can't help but be hopeful..that one day. She'll be a mother to a little boy, or girl. Kate glances away from the kids, and at Castle, who she knows has been watching her watch them. He's smiling in a way she doesn't think she's seen before. And in that smile? She sees all the possibilities she has never thought she had.

* * *

><p>The warmth envelopes her the second she steps into The Old Haunt. She glances at the rest of them as they head to their usual booth. But tonight? Kate will start out on a stool. Gather herself a little before joining Ryan, Jenny, Javi and Lanie at the table. Castle is still outside. He's currently calling a cab for his mother and daughter.<p>

Sitting down at the far end, Kate orders a vodka cranberry as she removes her coat. She places it on the stool beside her, looking about the place that seems oddly empty. Aside from a group in the far corner, and two men nursing beer to the far right of her. She's sort of thankful for that. It's not loud, and not crowded. Kate just feels like...after everything that has been going on lately, the night she's had.

Castle.

she needs a little breathing space. Gather her thoughts, sort out her emotions.

The door jungles, a gust of cold air licking at her skin for a moment before the warmth is back. A glass slides across the bar, coming into view at the corner of her eye. She reaches out, pulling it towards her. Cupping the glass with both hands, she holds it there for a second, peering into the reddish liquid and then plucking out the cherry. She studies the tiny fruit. A fruit so seductive she could render any man speechless. All she has to do is open her mouth ever so slightly, and slowly run it along her bottom lip, tasting it with her tongue. She does just that, as if someone could be watching. Just before she goes to pop it in her mouth, she sees him. Castle. He's standing by the door, coat halfway off his shoulders.

Kate smiles wickedly, turning her head so he can see as she pops the cherry into her mouth. Closing her mouth slowly, she raises one eyebrow at him. He's frozen by the door until it opens and a man bumps into him. Kate bites down on the cherry, laughing and then turns away pulling the stem between her lips before sipping her vodka.

"Evil woman." She thinks she hears him say before he takes his seat next to Javi. Kate lets out a strangled sigh. Her breath catching in her throat from the effort to control herself. She doesn't know if she can take much more of this..and she's the one making most of the moves...what if..what if he starts moving in on her as well? What then?

Taking a long sip of her drink, Kate spins around on the stool, leaning her back against the bar. Her eyes dart to their usual table. Jenny and Ryan are laughing about something Castle is telling them. But Javi and Lanie aren't there. Kate surveys the area. Finding Lanie coming out of the restroom, and Javi racking up the balls for a game of pool. She watches as Lanie saunters over to the pool table, running her fingers along Javi's shoulders as she walks towards Kate. She sees Javi tense, and then stare at Lanie for a moment, who only bats her eyelashes at him.

"Mm, Smooth." Kate says swallowing a sip.

"You know it, Honey." Lanie replies all saucy. She sits with her back against the bar next to Kate.

Kate hands Lanie her glass. "Is this where you plan comes into action?" She asks, eyes wandering over to Castle. He's watching them. He stands at the pool table with the others now. Looks like a game is about to commence between the boys.

Lanie takes a long sip from the drink, handing it back and then asking the bartender for one. "Just the prelude." She answers slyly.

Kate smirks, and then winks at Castle as she reaches over the bar behind her and plucks a cherry from the container. Her thoughts not reflecting the devious things she's doing to Castle. "What are you getting Espo for Christmas?" Kate asks.

As Lanie is watching the game, she replies off offhandedly. "Me...he's getting me for Christmas." She glances over at Castle who's bent over the table, about to take a shot. Her eyes follow his that have obviously found a new focus. She does a double take when she sees Kate is playing with a cherry. Kate's tongue darts out. Then Lanie hears the sound of a pool cue scratching the table instead of the intended target.

"Girl!" She smacks Kate's arm, who nearly chokes on the cherry.

Castle stands up, glowering and steps back to let a laughing Javi at the table.

"What?" Kate asks, tossing the stem aside.

"You can't tease him forever. Make your move."

"I will! I'm just –" Kate says, "Waiting for the right moment." Her voice dipping softly. She's waiting for the right moment where everything will come together as it should. She has to wait how ever impatient she is becoming. With her and Castle, it's never been the right moment. Something always happens, or someone gets in the way. But not this time.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? Castle's Party is next!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

_**_**As always,** special thank to _Jasperwright_****_  
><strong>_

_**Chapter Nine**_

Soft colored lights dance behind Kate's eyelids. The various shades enticing this electrical current throughout her body. The sparks reach out, and connect with another. She opens her eyes, thinking she'll be met with the shining lights of her Christmas tree. The blues, greens, reds and golds. But when her eyes adjust, she's not focused on lights at all. But of the brilliant blue eyes of Richard Castle.

A smile springs to her beautiful face and she reaches out of habit. Something she often does when dreaming of him. Making sure he's actually there. Only in her dreams, she finds her hand skimming across cold sheets instead of warm flesh.

Her smile widens reaching her eyes when her fingertips touch his stubbly cheek. "Castle." She says in a husky voice. "Hi." She whispers passing her thumb under his eye. His eye closes briefly, causing her heart to flutter at the way she easily affects him. Something so simple as a light touch and he's taken with her.

He hums softly when her hand brushes his hair off his forehead. "I dreamt we were at the Old Haunt, and you were enticing me with Cherries." He says sleepily, eyes closing.

Her hand smooths over his hair, lingering by his ear. She can't help herself. Kate bites down on her lip, her hand slipping from his face to the floor. "Um." She trails off.

"You wicked woman." He says with a smirk, but then his face becomes serious.

Kate tenses. She's afraid he's about to ask her what she's doing. Why she's acting like this, what it means. If he questions her, she might freeze up entirely, stop the progress she's been making. Castle, however, has let his face soften considerably when he sees her reaction. She watches as his eyes crinkle slightly in confusion as he turns his head towards the lights. They dance lazily across his face one green light settling at the corner of his mouth.

Mm that mouth.

"How did we get here?" He asks flicking the green light, it skitters along his face to his eye. He blinks and turns towards her.

Kate lets out a breath, sighing in relief. He's given her a knowing look, but gave her an out. Thankfully. "Hmm." She purses her lips, looking up into the lights and licking her lips. She tastes the cherries, making her eyes crinkle deviously at the memory. And oh yea... Vodka.

"We weren't drunk." He muses her next thought.

She doesn't look at him, but smiles. "No. we weren't." She confirms lifting a hand to her forehead. She's absent of any hangover. "It was snowing." She then says quietly, closing her eyes. She thinks back to the night before, how the snow was falling.

It was beautiful. White flecks of ice cold snow fluttering about them. He looked so adorable, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, buzzed but not drunk, just, happy. He offered to walk her home. She was all to happy to accept because they spent most of the night apart, albeit a little teasing; a lot of teasing. So much so she is surprised she was able to keep her hands to herself. Or the fact that Castle was a complete gentlemen. But that shouldn't shock her, now should it?

The night was already perfect, the snow, and the walk home adding to it. They walked quietly together, shoulder to shoulder down the sidewalk. It hadn't taken long for the snow to cover them, but she hadn't brushed it off. She remembers that, although they were not exactly touching, she could feel the warmth radiating off his body. The air around them was thick. Only this time, it held something else. Something she has been slowly allowing him to see. Her feelings. He knew then, and he knows now. She sees it in his eyes as they lay here.

"And then you asked me if I wanted to come up." He says in a deep voice, turning fully towards her.

"It was late." She yawns.

He chuckles. "Yes, it was."

"You wanted to see what the fuss was about." Kate turns as well, laying on her side. She plays with the tree skirt. "So we laid under here."

"And fell asleep."

Kate nods.

"Well." he says, sitting up and whacking a ornament off by accident. "I see the appeal." He rubs at his head and Kate climbs out, picking up the stray ornament and placing it back.

"Mm" She hums, looking at the tree, her fingers softly running over a branch. She feels his eyes on her, he's stepped closer and her entire body flushes with awareness.

"Thanks for sharing this with me, Kate." He says softly, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.

She fights the urge to turn her cheek so she can capture his lips with hers. "Your welcome." She says instead when he pulls back. "See you tonight." She then adds as he gathers his coat.

She walks him to the door, unlocking it and watching as he steps out. "Should be magical." He says. Her head rests on the door, capturing his dreamy stare.

"Yes. Yes it should."

* * *

><p>Kate paces about her room later that night. All day she has kept calm, kept herself busy with cleaning her apartment, doing laundry and trying to find the perfect gift for Castle. But nothing seems right. What do you get the man whose changed your life? For the better. The man who's saved her life over nine different times? Who knows her more than anyone else? Who's captured her heart and soul? Nothing seems good enough. She doesn't know how to tell him how much he means to her with just a gift...<p>

She looks down at the little gift idea in her hand. An idea that anyone else would think is too simple. Perhaps even cliche or cheap. She removes it from the box, holding it in her palm. She studies it. The shape, the color, the word she had engraved on it. How this little object has come to mean more to her than anything twice it's size or significances. How it's created something that has saved her countless times, and he still doesn't even know. He has no idea how much he's saved her. She's going to tell him now. She's going to give this to him, and hope that he understands the symbolism behind it.

Her phone pulled her out of her daze as it was buzzing.

"Beckett." Kate answers absently. She holds the small object between her thumb and index finger before placing it in the box.

"What are you doing with your hair?" Lanie asks. She sounds completely stressed out.

"Putting it up." Kate replies balancing the phone on her shoulder as she ties a light blue ribbon around the black box.

Lanie sighs. "What should I do with mine?"

"Well, what are you wearing?" She fingers the ribbon, her face soft and thoughtful, a hint of nervousness creeping up on her.

"A blue dress. It's a really dark blue." Kate hears some shuffling on the other line.

"Calm down. Curl it, and wear it down." She then says, setting the box into her purse and going into the bathroom. She eyes her dress hanging on the back of the door. "Dangling earings too, silver ones, I guess." She adds thinking she wont be wearing any herself.

"Great idea!" Lanie lets out a sigh of relief.

"Nervous?" Kate asks, pulling the skin down under her eyes. She got in a little more sleep today, so the bags are not so bad. Nothing a little makeup wont fix.

"A little. I mean, I think I softened him up a little more last night." Lanie replies her voice dipping.

Kate laughs. "I could see that." And she surely did. Lanie was relentless with her intentions at the Old Haunt. Kate could really see Javi coming around. Not to mention Kate got a little alone time with him. She was explaining to him that he's not the only one who's been hurt, and maybe he should forgive and forget.

"You?" Lanie asks after a short silence.

"Nervous?" Kate walks over to her dress, feeding the soft silk between her fingers.

"Mm hmm." Late hears a zipper.

"Not anymore."

"What are you wearing?" Lanie then asks.

Kate lets go of the dress, "You'll have to wait and see."

* * *

><p>She's shaking under her black pea coat. Not only from the cold, but because the events of this night. The meaning behind all she's been leading up too, stops now. It all comes full circle the minute she steps into his loft. It's not that she's unsure. She's nothing but sure. It's just that it is the last step. The leap before the full dive. Yet, the water below seems clear. Kate shrugs her shoulders, snapping herself out of it, and then raising her hand to the door. <em>Right<em>, she doesn't have to knock. With a deep breath and a long exhale through her nose, Kate opens the door to Castle's home.

She's immediately greeted by the sound of laughter, Christmas music, the smells of food, pine, and expensive wine. It's also toasty warm in here. She's beginning to feel over heated with excitement. The fire burning in the hearth in the living room is mirroring the kindling fire in her heart.

Everywhere people are mingling, Christmas decorations hanging over their heads. Even more lights are hung up from the last time she was here, with holly, and wreaths. He's gone all out. Kate also notices, as she looks about, that there isn't any mistletoe in sight. She doesn't know whether to feel relief or a tad bit disappointed. She goes with relief. She believes a kiss with a one Richard Castle, should be voluntary, not forced by a silly tradition.

Kate removes her coat and scarf, bringing it to the closet herself since no one else has seemed to have noticed her arrival. Just as she's shutting the closet door, and smoothing out her dress, Kate sees Castle. Her hand stops at her thigh, eyes not able to move from his. He's standing across the loft in the kitchen, cork halfway out of a bottle of white wine. His mouth falls open. Not in a gawking sort of way. No. Out of pure wonderment. Kate's heart swells, her skin catching ablaze with just one look from him. And then it's as though their hearts unintentionally pull then towards each other. She finds herself eye to eye with him. Having met him halfway in the center of his loft.

Castle's eyes leave hers momentarily. Sweeping along her body with an expert-like ease. Kate has her hair pinned up, soft, loose curls framing her face. She's wearing a form fitting, white strapless dress. Her long gorgeous legs peeking out the slit up one side. His attention lingers on her legs, to then move up her body; caressing her until they rest on her necklace. Her hand comes up to her neck, fingertips sliding across the blue ribbon, down until she's grasping the large blue butterfly hanging from it. She bites her lip out of habit. She then tilts her head to one side, eyebrow slightly raised in apprehension. His blue eyes bore into her brown green ones. Kate's heart melts instantly when his face breaks into a smile.

"Extraordinary." He finally says, just above a whisper. As if the mere sight of her has taken his breath clear from his lungs. Really it is his entire body because it's all he can say.

Kate releases her bottom lip. "Your not so bad yourself." She soothes, stepping closer. "Castle." She breaths. Her hands come up to his chest, drifting upwards so she can fix his collar.

He gulps. She's not holding back. Her hands rest on his chest a little lower now as she takes in his appearance. He's wearing red. A deep crimson red. It's dark, and enticing for some reason. She stares, following the buttons downwards to see the shirt tucked into a pair of black pants. Her eyes travel upwards one last time.

"Wine?" She asks him. Since he still seems to be lost for words.

"Ye—yea. Yes of course." He stammers. His hand slides to the middle of her back, grazing her skin. She tries not to shiver as he guides her to the kitchen.

Kate spots Lanie on her way there. Her friend is leaning up against the wall by the piano. Martha is singing a number while a gentlemen friend or hers plays. Martha is in a bright red, sparking dress. Lanie is wearing a midnight blue halter dress. It flows out just above her knees. She has her hair down, in curls like Kate suggested, with silver icicles that dangle from her ears. Kate smiles to herself when she sees Javi walk towards her, tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"They seem to be getting along this evening." Castle murmurs next to Kate's ear. She leans back against the island, brushing her bare shoulders against his chest.

"Have they?" Kate asks, voice deep. She looks over her shoulder at him, eyes narrowed so she's peeking through her eyelashes.

"Yes." He replies handing her a glass filled to the brim with white wine.

Kate tips the glass to her lips, watching him over the rim. "Mm." She hums, feeling the glass vibrate against her lips. "Progress."

Castle brings his own glass up, his eyes on her mouth as he takes a sip. "Although." He starts, pulling his eyes from her face to watch their friends. "I can't really give us much of the credit."

Kate follows his gaze. Lanie and Javi are now on the dance floor Castle had set up. The two dance slightly apart. But as time wears on, they migrate closer and closer until their bodies are flush. Kate's smile widens. Having been grinning this entire time, when she see's Lanie lay her head on Javi's shoulder.

"No. I dare say my girl has done it all on her own." Kate expresses several minutes later, completely satisfied.

"Hard to believe they were just fighting the other day." Castle remarks.

Kate turns fixing him with a curious look. "You knew about that?"

He nods, setting his glass down. "I over heard Lanie telling you." He says, eye apologetic.

"Eavesdropping, were we?" She asks, stepping around the counter, placing her glass next to his. She advances on him as if to give him a lashing.

He backs up until he hits the stove. His hands come up in surrender.

He cringes when her hand rises, but she rests it on his cheek, giving him a light pat. "I forgive you." She says lightly. Patting him once more before dropping her hand, and taking a glass of wine. His glass.

Castle eyes her suspiciously for a moment, and then just accepts it, smiling at her. Kate stares back, and then brings his glass to her lips. She licks the lingering wine on the rim, and then drinks most of the contents of it. His eyebrows raise. Removing it from her mouth, she looks at it acting as if she made a mistake, and then glances down at her own glass still full.

"Oops." She says, handing him his glass, now coated in her saliva, and soft pink lipstick. "I'm going to go." She picks up her glass, "Over there." She gestures off towards the rest of the party and saunters off. She makes sure to put an extra swing in her hips.

She lets herself glance over her shoulder for a moment. What she sees sends a flutter through her chest, heat rising within her. Castle is staring at the glass, studying the lipstick mark with some sort of awe, and then, to Kate's pleasure, he drinks the rest from the same spot she did.

* * *

><p>She sways softly to the music. Her hips having a mind of their own while she only pays slight attention to the Mayor. He's going on about a golf game, or was it poker? Whatever the conversation, Kate stops listening all together. Castle is across the room, leaning on the piano. A group of people, His agent amongst them, are discussing something at length that he obviously finds boring. Every now and then he has to draw his eyes away from Kate to add in his two cents. But then his blues are back on her. Kate shifts easily from one foot to the other, letting her knee slide out through the slit up her left side. Exposing her calf, knee and a little bit of thigh. She bends her knee just a little, balancing on her heel while she rests her elbow on a nearby table. She bites her lip in his direction, and then touches the Mayor's arm, excusing herself.<p>

"Mm mm mm." Lanie hums at her. She comes out of nowhere taking Kate's elbow and leading her into the dining room.

"Let go." Kate scolds through a laugh. Lanie is leering at her, this look upon her face that's clearly asking Kate to explain herself. "You first." Kate challenges.

Lanie smirks, wiping the corner of her mouth with her index finger. It's then Kate realizes her lipstick is slightly smudged. "Oh!" She exclaims, eyes sweeping the room for Javi. She spots him coming out of the back hallway. He wipes at his mouth and then wanders off.

"I guess I don't have to." Lanie adds her eyes gleam in the soft lighting.

Kate lays a hand on her arm affectionately. "I'm so happy for you, Lanie. You deserve this." She squeezes her arm.

"You do too." Lanie agrees and then produces something from behind her back. "Here, I don't need it anymore." She puts something into her hand and walks off without another word.

Kate raises an eyebrow and then looks down. Her breath catches in her throat. It's a tiny sprig of mistletoe. She hides it quickly, clutching it in her fist and then inconspicuously heads towards the closet to hide it for safe keeping.

"Leaving so soon?"

Kate jumps, closing the door. "Castle!" Her hand flies to her chest. "You scared me." Her heart is pounding.

"Sorry," He apologizes, touching her arm."I didn't mean to scare you." His voice is low, tender.

Her heart skips a beat, racing for a whole new reason. "It's okay. And I'm not going anywhere." She then adds.

"Good." He says, with a warm penetrating smile. "Dance with me?" He asks, then offering his hand. Kate looks down at it for the briefest of moments, and then lays her hand in his. He grasps it, leading her away onto the dance floor.

They come up beside Ryan and Jenny, who watch as Castle guides Kate in a circle. They give the pair a wink, and move aside. Castle's eyes drift from Kate's eyes to her necklace and back again before folding her into his loose embrace. He has one hand on her waist, his touch so light she wonders if perhaps he is afraid to touch her. She squeezes his hand in reassurance, which he brings up to his chest. Her other hand rests on his shoulder. They begin to move fluidly amidst the other guests.

"The dragonfly." Castle speaks softly after several comfortable minutes. "Symbolizes power and poise."

She smiles. She's been wondering when he'd bring it up. "It also represents change." Kate informs in his ear. They are now cheek to cheek.

He hums in response. Waiting for her to continue.

"Self discovery," She says deeply. "living in the moment and living life to the fullest." She tightens her hold on his shoulder, parting from him just a little so she can look at his face. "I've been letting my mother's murder define me. Drive me. " She tells him exactly whats he told her therapist. "It's made me who I am ..but now?" She brings the hand on his shoulder to his cheek. "Now, I want to be..." Her eyes lock with his. "_More_, than who I am." Her thumb rubs along his soft flushed skin.

"Kate." He whispers, bringing their bodies closer. They are now flush against each other. She can feel his heart beating in time with her own. It's fast, exhilarated.

"The Blue Butterfly." She cuts him off, looking down at the insect resting on her burning flesh. She doesn't glance back up. She wants to explain to him the significant of not wearing her mothers ring anymore. Tell to him that she's already becoming more.

"Yes?" He asks, granting her the space she needs to explain, while their bodies remain pressed together in the most intimate way they have ever allowed.

"Symbolizes life." She continues. " Love." She stares into his sharp blue eyes as she says that four letter word. "Change." She feels his hand tighten around hers, caressing her knuckles with his thumb. She closes her eyes for a moment, opening them again to stare into his soul. "Butterflies are also thought to symbolize a person's essence, or soul." He smiles just a little "And... The color blue." She swipes her thumb under his eye, cupping his cheek. "Stands for a change in luck." He leans into her hand. "Sometimes a blue butterfly is viewed as a wish granter." She finishes.

"Have you made a wish?" He asks.

"I have." She replies laying her head on his shoulder as they sway to the music.

* * *

><p>"Thank you, Mr. Castle." Captain Gates is saying as Castle opens the door. "For inviting me this evening." She finishes stepping out into the hallway and eying the two. Kate stands a little behind him. Alexis and Martha by the stares looking on.<p>

"Of course." He replies with a half bow. She rolls her eyes at him, but offers a tiny smile before leaving. Castle shuts the door on a heavy sigh. "That's everyone." He exasperates, walking over to Alexis and hugging her by the shoulders.

"Great party dad." Alexis squeezes him and yawns into the back of her hand.

"As always, my dear boy." Martha adds. She steps from the stairs and gathers Kate into a unexpected embrace. "You look marvelous this evening." She compliments with a flourish, holding her at arms length.

"Thank you." Kate blushes, seeing Alexis nodding in agreement, Castle as well. "Your both gorgeous." She then remarks, giving Alexis a grand smile.

Alexis smiles back and then yawns once more. "I'm off to bed." She lets go of her father, giving Kate a hug. "Night Kate." She hops up onto a step. "Night Dad." She kisses his cheek and goes up to her room.

"Good night, my darlings." Martha says, finally letting go of Kate and going up after Alexis.

Castle watches them go, a soft gleam in his eyes. Kate takes the time to study him. Having already committed his every expression to memory; but she thinks she sees a new one. Not having any words for it, she settles for something like contentment, with some sort of positive undertone. She lets the feeling wash over her, walking up to him until she's barely an inch away. "I should go." She informs him just above a whisper.

He turns to her, a look of disappointment flashing in his eyes. "You don't have to." He almost pleads.

Kate tilts her head to one side. "I know." She replies, but she turns away, going into the closet for her coat.

He follows helping her slip it on. "I'm happy you came." He says, voice deep and void of the usual tone. He's sensed the change between them.

She slips her hands into her pockets while he throws her scarf around her neck. Her hand grabs the tiny sprig in her pocket. She smiles up at him. "Me too." She says huskily, sincerely.

He prolongs her leaving by taking his time with her scarf. "I wish you'd stay." His eyes stare at her scarf still in his hands.

She pulls her free hand from her pocket, taking one of his. She makes him let go of her. "I"ll see you tomorrow. How's that?" She turns towards the door, dropping his hand and opening it.

His eyes light up. "Okay." He's grinning now.

She smiles back, patting his chest absently while she contemplates what's inside her pocket, and how to go about using it to her advantage. She turns her back to him, stepping out into the hallway.

"And Castle?" She asks, eyebrow raised.

"Hmm?" He hums dreamily.

"I'm a little disappointed." She states, her eyes shining wickedly. Her voice scolding.

His face falls in confusion. "Huh?"

"I didn't see any mistletoe." She deadpans, acting completely put off.

His mouth opens then closes. "Well, I...I thought. And you-"

Kate presses a finger to his lips. Moving in on him as she pulls the sprig from her pocket. "It's okay, I brought a backup." She says seductively yanking him into the hallway.

* * *

><p><strong>~Evil grin~<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Changed my time line so I can make this work better. His party was mentioned in previous chapters as being on the 16th. So now lets say it was on the 18th. Giving them 5 days until Christmas eve.**

_**Chapter Ten**_

Their lips meet with force, not only from the way she yanked on him, sending the two of them stumbling out into the hallway. But from the sheer suspense. From all the years of denying themselves. Tonight. This kiss? The tiny sprig that has now fallen to the floor forgotten? Has only contributed a small part in the flame that has been dancing between them since the moment they met. The moment her lips touched his? The flame ignited, sending a raging fire into her heart, scorching a path along every nerve in her body.

Kate's back hits the wall, sending a gasp into Castle's mouth right before hers closes on his a second time. But then he pulls back, for air, or perhaps from shock, Kate's unsure. His beautiful blues bore into her dark green. She watches his eyes darken, as they skim over her face. Looking, searching for something. She knows he has found it when he's suddenly flush against her once more. Castle presses his thigh between her legs aggressively, sending a shiver of pure pleasure though her body. She can feel his hands on her. Feather light at her waist, traveling up and tickling her sides. She gasps again. Her heart leaping out of her chest. She's sure he can feel it. His whole body flat against hers, their heavy breaths mingling in exhilaration. His hands weave into her hair, and then, he painfully slow, leans his face to hers. Her breath catches. She can't seem to keep it in her lungs. It's the slow motion, the ache all through her body, coupled with the look in his eyes that have trapped her. And then he brushes his lips over hers. Ever so softly. Barely breathing against her mouth which is parted slightly in anticipation. She knows he's waiting. Waiting for the moment where she either brushes it off as a silly Christmas tradition, or dives right in with him.

She blows hot, sweet air from her parted mouth to his lips, and then pushes herself against him fully. Kate latches onto him, clawing at his shoulder and the back of his head as she coaxes him to open his mouth. Sliding her tongue along his bottom lip until he grants her access. Which doesn't take much. He may have her against the wall, but she has full control. Her tongue duels with his. He tastes like expansive wine and candy canes. Castle hums against her lips when she rakes her fingernails down the back of his head, clutching his neck. Kate lets out a soft moan at the vibration.

By now the kiss has grown quite heated. A forest fire on a path of destruction. Only, between these two, it's the most beautiful thing imaginable. It's strong, passionate, intense...that is, until Castle takes it upon himself to slow it down, snuff some of the fire out so they both don't become so consumed, it turns into something they are both not ready for. He pulls back, taking in a long breath, His blue eyes catching her on a wave of emotion. He leans his forehead against hers. They are both breathing heavily, her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers wound tightly in the tiny hairs at the back of his head. Painfully actually. As if she is using him as an anchor to keep her from drowning.

Her own eyes open now. She stares back with dark, wild irises. Much like the forest they just ignited. Only now, his sea of blue has created a river through it. Cooling everything down. Hot embers remain, forever radiating heat. Kate sighs, a smile easing onto her face, lifting her swollen lips at the corners. She rubs her nose against his, humming softly and releasing her grip on the back of his head. Instead, she smooths her hands down his neck on either side, her hands cupping his ears softly.

"Now." She says, catching her breath, "I have to go." She kisses him once more, softly this time. Slow, and promising before she slides out from the wall, and walks unsteadily to the elevator.

* * *

><p>Cold water cascades down her trembling body. Her lungs expelling air in short heavy gusts. With her arm bent against the wall of her shower for support, Kate leans her head back into the stream, cooling her face down. Extinguishing the fire in her veins. How she walked the length of the hallway, without turning back, she will never know. And when she went to press the button to close the elevator doors, she had looked up. He was leaning back against the wall. His eyes closed, head titled back towards the ceiling. She could see him trying to get his breathing under control. And then he opened his eyes. His sharp blue eyes met her smoldering green ones, caused a jolt to run the length of her body. She almost went to him... almost. But the doors had closed just in time.<p>

Kate turns the water back up to hot. Her body now pleasantly chilled. She stands there for several long minutes, letting the water warm her bothered body. When her heart begins to beat normally, she washes up and steps out of the shower and into a fogged up bathroom. She wraps a towel around herself and opens the door to her room. The colder air in her bedroom chills her skin, but she doesn't dry off right away. She stands frozen by the door, hand up to her mouth, eyes wide.

She just dove. Took the leap from a high cliff and connected with the boiling water below. Resurfaced, completely out of breath, exhilarated, utterly titillated. Even now, the adrenaline from the kiss is coursing through her body. Into every nerve, every cell. She had an inkling of how she might feel after this, but she had no idea she'd feel so addicted. Kate can't seem to put words to this uncensored emotion. All she knows, is that she's in love with it. In love with how it makes her feel. In love with him. She wants more. _Needs_ more. Needs him. She doesn't know how she's gone this long without him in this way. And she doesn't think she can survive another minute.

But she must.

Right?

Or it this the whole point of "diving in." Go for it? All the way...Right?

Her phone rings. Startling her from her inner battle between her head and her heart. When she sees the name on her caller id, her heart kicks into over drive and her skin begins to flush once more. A smile breaks onto her face, to then be replaced with panic. How does she answer the phone? Things are different now. Is that why he's calling? Making sure she's serious? Checking to see if it was a one time thing? Of course not. She just dove head first. But he doesn't know this. Right. She should pick up the phone and reassure the poor man.

All of this conspires in a matter of milliseconds. Kate answers her phone on the last ring. "Hey, Castle." She soothes into the phone, her voice soft and tender.

"Kate." Is all he says. Low, deep, his voice confirming how insecure he is.

Kate had closed her eyes at the way he said it, she opens them again on a sigh, "I think I dropped the mistletoe in your hallway." She says amused.

She hears him chuckle softly. "I have it..." his tone is lighter, less unsure. "I put it away for safe keeping." He then says, smiling.

She can hear it in his voice. "I don't think I am going to need it anymore." Kate walks over to her bed, fingering the fabric of her yoga pants while biting down on her lip.

"Oh?" He asks. There is that hint of insecurity again.

"Mm, no." She hums, shaking her head slightly even though he cannot see. "Do you?" She then asks. She pulls on her pants, setting the phone down on speaker so she can put on a top.

Castle is silent on the other end. She realizes that she may not have been clear enough for him to understand. That perhaps he's over thinking. _Of course he is Kate. _He probably thinks she needed that stupid sprig to gain courage..but she didn't. She's never needed it. She's just been waiting for the right moment...it was just a prop. She didn't even hang it, or hold it above their heads. She dropped it even.

"Kate." He says again, a whisper, a plea.

"We don't need it." She puts emphasizes on _we. _She's picked the phone back up, biting her finger.

He sighs.

"Castle." She pauses, letting out a sigh of her own. It's not irritated, or upset. It's just...a sigh, a relent, a indication of something more. Nothing to worry about. "Rick." She whispers. Sinking to the bed.

"I miss you." He confesses. He gets it. This is his way of saying he understands everything. It's not just a one time thing.

She smiles, her heart all a flutter. She can only hum in response, falling back against her pillow.

"I always miss you." He's on a roll now, she can tell. He wont hold back now, and she doesn't want him too.

"Rick?" She asks.

"Yes."

"I do to." She husks.

He's quiet again, but she can hear him breathing. She wonders if he's also laying in bed. Fresh from a shower. Probably a cold one. She smiles at the thought, her face reddening from how tender they are now. She's not normally like this. At least not this much. It's not even forced, just natural.

"What are you wearing?" He asks. And then he goes and does things like that.

Kate laughs. "Really, Castle?"

"Oh so it's Castle now." He laughs. She hears him shift, and a muffled sound is heard.

Her brow wrinkles. "Where are you?" She asks.

"In bed, but I can be there in ten." He doesn't miss a beat.

She rolls her eyes. "Goodnight Rick." She scolds seductively before hanging up.

* * *

><p>Here she is again. The wall behind her. His door in front of her. Her eyes closed. She hums in satisfaction, as she opens them again only to roll them upwards at the memory of the previous night. And then the door opens making her jump.<p>

"Kate!" Castle exclaims. "I was just about to call you..." He trails off looking upset, and disappointed.

She tilts her head to one side frowning. She doesn't understand. "Castle?"

"I am so sorry, Kate." He grabs her by the shoulders. "Paula just called me, all frantic. Something about the book, or the movie? I'm not sure she was historical." He squeezes her arms, his soft blue eyes saddening.

She nods pursing her lips and looking down. "You have to go." She states, trying not to sound disappointed herself. She fails miserably when her lips curl in a pout of their own accord. Wait? She's really pouting? This is new.

Castle lets go of her, lifting her chin with his finger. He also seems a little taken aback by the pouty Kate. But then he smiles, seemingly loving it. It's adorable. "Yes." He says. "But I will make it up to you I promise." He leans in then, as if out of habit, and kisses her. It is light, soft, and quick. He pulls back, blinking more times then necessary. Perhaps trying to figure out if this is a dream or not.

She's diving in, _just go for it_.

So she pinches his arm, and then pulls on the back of his neck, bringing his forehead to rest against hers. "You better." She purrs, before pressing her lips to his. A little more forcefully this time. She moans against his mouth when he deepens the kiss, not being able to help herself.

Castle weaves his hands into her hair, dropping another soft kiss to her lips when they break apart, and then kisses her nose, her cheek, her jaw...down to her neck. She shivers when he stops, breathing warm air onto her neck as he buries his head there. She hugs him, breathing him in.

"You smell like cherries." He pulls back and mumbles against her skin.

Kate licks her lips, peering at him through her eyelashes. "You taste like coffee."

* * *

><p>They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yes. It does. Kate should know. She's been nothing but absent from her heart for most of her life. Only now? She feels it. Feels the rough edges of her lonely heart. He's filled it, but now he's not around to keep her satiated. At least she got a last kiss. Feel his soft warm lips on her's once more. But it's left her aching inside, in places she didn't know she had.<p>

Of course he's been dragged away until late Christmas eve. _Is this a test? _Kate asks herself as she sits alone at Remy's sipping a scolding cup of coffee. One hand grasps her mug, burning her flesh, but she doesn't seem to notice. Her eyes are directed out the window at nothing in particular, head leaning into her palm, elbow propped up on the tabletop. Her face crinkles between her eyes in that way Castle once said was adorable. The first case they worked together. She releases her mug, poking her finger into the crease and letting out a sigh. Her hand comes back down forcefully, making the sugar jump and slide slightly across the table. She's being tested. She must be. Why else would he have to leave for business the moment she dives in?

It's only been a day. And a half.

It's currently one in the afternoon on Tuesday the 19th. Kate had shown up at Castle's loft around this time yesterday. After he told her he had to go, they rode the elevator down together, leaning against one another. She even rode with him in his town car to Black Pawn Publishing Company. When they pulled up to the large building he had put some distance between them. Rubbing his hands over his face and sighing. She had only watched him. Curiously, because their relationship had shifted, and everything from here on out was new and exciting. Different. Seeing him like this was a whole new side of him. He's obviously been fighting against. The only difference now is that he can show it.

She had scooted closer to him. Placing a hand on his thigh and kissing him softly on the cheek. He turned, kissing her roughly back, softening towards the end and then getting out of the car swiftly to keep them both under control. She pouted, actually they both did. He lent in through the window, pecking her on the lips and making no promises to when he would see her again. She just didn't think he would be whisked away to LA until nearly Christmas.

So here Kate Beckett sits...Alone. Pining after a man and she never pines. Okay that's a lie because she's been pining for Castle unfairly for years now. She understands this it's just she doesn't know if she likes this color on her. This waiting. But it's only fair right? He's been waiting for her, okay not in the same way but..._just stop thinking about it._ She scolds herself, lifting her face out of her hand and drinking her neglected coffee. She frowns. She's been pondering longer then she thought and now her coffee has gone cold.

Her phone rings. She snaps it up happily, hoping it's Castle. And then calms herself. _Get a hold of yourself. _"Beckett." She answers. To busy having an inner girl moment to check the id.

"Hey Girl." Lanie replies happily on the other end.

"Oh hey." Kate fails in her attempt to sound happy to hear from her best friend.

"Expecting a call from certain writer were you?" Lanie asks knowingly.

Kate sighs, her fingers dancing over the rim of her coffee mug. "Maybe." She decides to be vague. Castle isn't around for their light banter so she'll play with Lanie.

"Well why aren't you with him?"

Oh that's right... Kate forgot to tell her. Everything. "He's in LA." Kate says unhappily.

"What? Spill."

Kate raises a hand to the waitress behind the counter, trying to get her attention for a refill. She mine as well have a fresh cup of coffee for this. "We kissed...after the party." Kate decides to start with that.

The expectations Kate had for Lanie's reaction does not disappoint. Lanie actually squeals so loud, Kate has to pull the phone away from her ear. "Oh my God!" Lanie squeals again. "Dish, I want to know every dirty detail." Kate can just picture her leaning over an exam table.

"Well I was holding the mistletoe." Kate begins.

"Wait you were holding it?"

"Yes."

"You didn't hang it over your heads?" She asks almost disappointed.

"No. What does it matter? We kissed." Kate finds herself becoming a bit frustrated.

"Okay, okay. How was it?"

Kate rolls her eyes, but her face softens into a goofy smile. "Better than I imagined." She actually gushes. Kate Beckett gushing over a kiss?

A tiny excitable sound filters through followed by hands clapping together. "Awe!" Lanie gushes right back. "But why is he gone? Talk about bad timing." She then says.

"Tell me about it..." Kate rubs a hand over her face, and then sips the coffee she didn't realize the waitress refilled. "He had to go check up on the movie production. Some mishap with one of the actors, or the script, I don't know..." She trails off her voice echoing her melancholic state.

"I'm sorry, honey." Lanie sympathies. "When will he be back?"

"Not until late Christmas eve, pretty much early Christmas morning,"

"Oh, kind of a waist of your vacation time."

"Yea...maybe I'll go see my dad. He couldn't make it to Castle's party."

"Yea I noticed that, what happened?"

Kate sighs again. "One of his AA buddies fell down the rabbit hole, he stayed with him to keep him stable." She holds her coffee up to her lips, not drinking it, but staring off. She's so relieved it wasn't her father.

"That's sweet of him." Lanie says.

"Yes, it was." Kate hears a beep. "Look Lanie, I'm getting another call, I'll talk to you later."

"All right, girl. And Kate?"

"Yea?"

"I'm happy for you."

Kate smiles and disconnects. "Beckett."

"Hi, Kate." It's Alexis.

"Hey, Alexis!" She greets. The girl has found a place in her heart. "What can I do for you?" She asks.

"More like, what I am going to do for _you._" Alexis says.

Kate's brow creases in confusion and curiosity. "What?"

"Dad called me." The red head begins.

Kate freezes. Did he tell her? "Oh?" She asks, trying not to sound uncomfortable with the idea. They JUST started something, she's not sure how she feels about others knowing. He's not even here.

"Yes. He says he doesn't want your vacation to go to waste. He had plans for you guys, but since he's been pulled away...Grams and I are going to keep you company...well if you want." The young girl finishes, her voice insecure.

Kate's heart stops, a lump forming in her throat. She doesn't have to think about it at all. "Of course!" She's beaming now.

"Great!" Alexis exclaims on the other end. "What are you doing right now?"

The older woman stares at her coffee cup still smiling. "Drinking coffee at Remy's"

"Alone?"

"Mm hmm." Kate hums against the cup, drinking a large gulp.

"Want to come over and watch Christmas movies? It's a little tradition dad and I have every year. Sort of like the 25 days of Christmas only we cram them in the week before."

"Sounds intense." Kate comments paying the bill and grabbing her coat from the seat beside her. "I'm in. Be there in twelve minutes."

* * *

><p>It's unbelievably cozy in Castle's loft. She almost feels as though he's here with her. From the way the place smells of him, to the décor. Everything here is purely Richard Castle. Not to mention the decorations, the Christmas tree alight in the corner of the room, casting a soft glow throughout the area. Not other lights are on. Alexis says her and her father light the ambiance while the watch their favorite Christmas Movies. It's homely. She much rather be here then in her apartment all by herself,<p>

She just misses him, though. But it helps being here, his things all around her. His daughter keeping her company, while his mother is elsewhere. She can see herself becoming a permanent fixture. They all treat her as such already anyway. It wouldn't be all that hard to just allow herself to be more comfortable. Make herself at home. She already feels the uneasiness of being here without him, falling away. Maybe it's the fact that Alexis has seemingly accepted her back. Kate's aware that the poor girl resented her for quite some time. But with Alexis so willing to cozy up on the couch with her...well, it rises a warmth in her bones, and she smiles, sighing happily.

Kate sinks deeper into the cushions of Castle's leather couch, feet propped up on the coffee table. Alexis shares a blanket that's thrown over the two of them while they watch a Christmas movie. Kate thinks this might be the third or the fourth movie they have watched today...tonight. She looks up over Alexis to the window on the other side of the loft. It's indeed dark outside. Her eyes drift back to the area around her. The coffee table is littered with take out containers, and an empty carton of rocky road ice cream. Amongst the food sits two empty mugs once filled with steaming hot chocolate. And then her brown green eyes rest on the redhead currently snuggled into Kate's side.

The girls body shakes with laughter. Elf is on. Kate smiles down at her, an impulse to reach out and smooth Alexis's hair from her face is strong, but she fights it. Instead, she focuses back on the movie, eyes narrowed in a fit of drowsiness. She must drift off, because before she knows it, Alexis is poking her awake. Kate blinks a few times, looking around when she doesn't see Alexis right away. She hears a small laugh, and looks down at her lap. Alexis has shifted, her head now resting on a pillow propped on Kate's thigh. The detective doesn't know what to think of this at first. Those blue eyes so much like her fathers, stare up at Kate. Almost questioningly.

"Kate?" Alexis asks, becoming shy.

"Hmm?" Kate purses her lips but does not look away. She finds herself frightened of the question that is sure to come.

"Does my dad make you happy?"

Kate nods, lips still pursed. "Yes. He does." She then replies. Her hand comes out from the blanket, resting on Alexis hair. She doesn't move it, just watches as Alexis closes her eyes briefly, to then stare back thoughtfully. What Kate sees there, astounds her. This is not knew information for the girl. Kate realizes that maybe Alexis needed to hear it for herself.

Alexis nods with a smile and then turns her head towards the TV screen. It's bright blue. Kate is not sure for how long it has been over. The two stay silent. Kate's no longer uneasy, and lets her fingers play with Alexis hair. She smooths the almost strawberry waves through her fingers, absently. They stay like this for a long time, before Kate realizes that Alexis has fallen asleep. Checking her watch, she sees that it's 9pm. She lets out a yawn, peering down at Castle's sleeping daughter. Is this what it's like to have a daughter? The brunette wonders. She remembers what it was like to have her mother play with her hair, in scenarios just like this one. And instead of feeling a sad sense of nostalgia, Kate only smiles wider, her eyes moist with happiness. She has never realized how much she's wanted this, until this very moment. She has everything she'll ever need, Well, almost. Rick just needs to come home.

* * *

><p>"Kate." Castle whispers, resting a soothing hand on her forehead. He smooths the strands napping across her face.<p>

Kate stirs, opening her eyes to then close them again. She sighs when his thumb caresses her cheek. Her eyes finally open, blinking the sleep from them. "Hi." She says half awake, and then sits up.

"No. Don't. You look comfortable." He whispers, lightly pushing her back down.

She gives in, laying her head back onto the pillow. She peers over her shoulder to see Alexis curled up behind her. Her head on a pillow that's resting on Kate's backside. She hums, a smile spreading across her sleepy face and then fixes a look of pure love on Castle. He presses a kiss to her lips, moving away from her for a moment to then drops a kiss to his daughter's forehead. Her and Alexis had crashed on the couch again. It's Christmas eve, or so she still believes, unaware of the time. Alexis had insisted Kate's father come over for dinner, which they both helped Martha cook, and then when he left they continued their movie marathon with Martha until she left for a party.

"Merry Christmas." Castle murmurs against her forehead.

"Mm, Merry Christmas, Rick." Kate lifts her chin, wanting to kiss him.

He smiles, kissing his way down to her lips. Her hand snakes out from her warm blanket, tugging him closer. He moans, and then pulls back. They both look back at Alexis, who does not stir. Castle gives Kate a shake of his head, as if scolding her. He stands up, turning to leave but her hand shoots out to grab the hem of his shirt.

"No." She whimpers. She tugs until he's back down beside her. "Stay." She's now stroking his cheek. Coaxing him.

He leans into her touch. "I'll be right back." He promises, kissing her again and wandering off into his room when she finally releases his shirt.

* * *

><p>Kate awakens to the sun streaming in through the windows of the loft. The first thing she sees is the back of Castle's head. He's fallen asleep with his back against the couch in front of her. The second thing she perceives, is the Christmas tree now towering over a giant bundle of gifts. There is that feeling again. The one she can't put words to. All she knows is that her heart is beating joyfully in her chest. Something shifts behind her. Alexis. The young girl sits up, yawning and stretching her arms out above her head. And then she spots her father.<p>

"Dad!" She launches herself off the couch and tackles the sleeping Castle to the floor.

"Omff." He mumbles into the floor, and then wraps his arms around his daughter. "Merry Christmas, daughter." He says happily, squeezing her tight.

"Merry Christmas, father." She squeezes back and then notices Kate watching them. "Merry Christmas, Kate." She lets go of her dad and leans over Kate to hug her.

Kate sits up, so they can hug less awkwardly. Alexis wraps her arms around Kate's neck, leaning into her with most of her weight. The brunette's eyes connect with Castle's over his daughter's shoulder. Her heart leaps at the look he's giving her. He's overjoyed really, to see his daughter so attentive to the woman he loves. It can't get any better than this.

Alexis lets go, settling down beside the detective and looking between the two who are still staring. "What do we want to do first?" She asks, once she has their attention. "Breakfast, or presents?"

"Presents," The partners say in unison. They grin at each other, receiving a sly smirk from Alexis.

"I'll go get Gram then." And she's off the couch and bounding up the stairs.

All the presents have been opened. Kate sits beside Castle on the couch while Alexis holds up a blouse Kate got for her. She's smiling from ear to ear as she puts it nicely back into the bag and gets up to give Kate a hug. She thanks her and mentions something about breakfast and heads off into the kitchen.

"You didn't have to get her anything." Castle says, pulling her back to rest against him. His arm snakes around her shoulders.

"I know. But I wanted to." She smiles up at him, receiving a peck before she rests her head on his shoulder.

"Your very sweet." He mumbles against her hair.

"I got something for you too, you know." She then says after a short silence.

"Oh?" He leans forward his eyes lighting up like an excited five year old.

She laughs. "Do you want to open it now?" She asks already knowing the answer.

He gives her a look. "Do you even have to ask?"

Kate shakes her head, patting his thigh and getting up from the couch. As she makes her way to her purse she finds her self growing exceedingly nervous. What if he doesn't get it, or like it? She finds her purse by the door, along with her shoes. She thinks about how natural this all is. Her coat in the closet her shoes kicked off by the door, falling asleep in his loft, to then have him waking her up. She smiles, feeling less uneasy, and pulls the long rectangular box from her purse. She plays with the ribbon, biting her lip and then snaps herself out of it. When she comes back to the living room Castle is sitting on the edge of the couch, a similar looking box in his hand, tied with a red bow.

She sits down beside him, her eyebrow raised at the similarity in gifts. "You first. " She says, handing it to him reluctantly.

"No you." He puts his gift in her lap, not even looking at hers.

"Castle." She warns, but it ends up coming out all adorable from the way her head is tilted to one side and her lip between her teeth. She sighs. "How about we open them at the same time? She suggests.

"Deal." He pecks her on the cheek and looks down at her gift to him. "On the count of-"

"Just open it."

He makes an exasperated sound and then pulls on the ribbon. She watches him for a moment until he throws her a look. She narrows her eyes at him but relents, pulling on her own ribbon. She opens the box tentatively. A small gasp escaping her lips when she sees what's inside. She doesn't notice Castle has stopped opening her gift to him, and watches her adoringly. Inside is a sterling silver snowflake necklace. It's gorgeous. Kate lifts it out of the soft green fabric it's laying on, holding it up with one hand, and resting the sparkling pendant in her palm.

"I had it specially made." He tells her, close to her ear.

"Rick." She breathes, looking over at him.

He holds his hands out, taking the necklace from her and gesturing for her to turn around. "They say." He begins, brushing her hair from her neck tenderly. He sees her shiver. " That no two snowflakes are exactly alike." He breathes against her neck, sending another shiver through her body as he clips the necklace, settling her hair back down.

Kate turns towards him fulling. Her knee bending underneath her. Her hand comes up to touch the snowflake, eyes never leaving his.

"No one else has a necklace like yours. Your unique." He says softly, placing a hand on the side of her neck, thumb caressing her skin. "Extraordinary." Kate closes her eyes. "There is no one else like you." His forehead touches hers, eyes staring into her soul.

Kate feels a tear slip from her eye. She wasn't expecting this, or that she'd feel so emotional. A lump forms in her throat, rendering her unable to speak. Instead, she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him for several small kisses, and then hugs him so close she doesn't think it will ever be close enough.

"Thank you." She whispers weakly into his shoulder.

"Always." He replies easily.

Her heart skips a beat. She pulls back, wiping her eyes and composing herself. "Now you." She emphasizes by picking up his gift and dropping it back into his lap.

"Oh all right." He whines but then that childish gleam shines in those eyes again.

Kate folds her hands into her lap and watches. He pulls the rest of the ribbon off, removing the lid of the box. She sees his face change from that kid on Christmas look, to utterly serious. His face completely unreadable. Her heart sinks.

"You don't like it?" She asks, more like a statement. Castle lifts her gift to him out of the box, holding it at eye level. It's a fountain pen. Blue and silver with an interact design on the nib. But what draws his eyes, is what is engraved on the barrel.

_Always. _In Kate's perfect cursive.

"I..." Castle's eyes flick to hers. She can see him trying to grasp at it's meaning, She knows he understands some, but she'll have to explain it to him. The symbolism runs deeper than he's ever known. Even before his _Always _was verbalized.

"For the life you saved." She says strongly.

"Kate."

"I never told you this.." She cuts him off, biting her lip. She looks down at her hands.

"Never told me what?" He asks, setting the pen gently down into the box, and taking her hands. His face has softened considerably, making her feel much better.

"Of how much your words saved me." She's barely audible. Taking in a deep breath she exhales and looks into his eyes. "Your books kept me from drowning, Rick." She squeezes his hands. "After my mother died...I lost myself. But then I found your books. Fell in love with them."_ Fell in love with you._ She stares down at her fingers intertwined with his. She doesn't have to say anything else.

He brings her hands up to his lips, kissing each knuckle softly. No. She doesn't need to say anything more. It's all there in her eyes. He can see it. He can see all he has done for her. How he's truly saved her. He's finally aware of how his declaration of _always_ has run much deeper. It's always been him. Even before they met. He's always been there for her, and he's never known it until now.

**Yes. It's over. I thought about it, and as I was heading towards the end of the chapter I thought this is a great place to just end the whole thing. I hope you all liked it! Thank all of you who have reviewed and added me, and my story to their alerts/favorites I love all you guys! And as always, reviewing this last chapter would be the best thing EVER!**

**And of course, special thanks and big hugs to my Beta: _Jasperwright_! You are truly amazing :D**


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